Dear Prudence,
Looking for an official Prudie ruling on a very low-stakes debate between my husband “Max” and me. At a party, my husband’s friend “Peter” mentioned that he and his fiancé “Laurel” are extending their already pretty long engagement period by a year. Later, when Max and I were alone, I said offhand that the postponement seemed odd. Max said it was for a reason, but that Peter told him not to tell anyone. He also said the reason wasn’t scandalous and that “all would be revealed in due time.” Now this really piqued my curiosity—what could the benign but top secret reason be?? I told Max he was right to keep Peter’s confidence in this instance, but suggested it would have been more considerate for him to skirt around my comment (e.g., me: “Weird that Peter and Laurel are extending their engagement for so long”; Max: “Yeah”) rather than entice me with an untellable secret. Max’s view is that it would amount to dishonesty through omission. I don’t think either take is really wrong, but which approach does Prudie endorse when keeping confidences?
—Nosey Nancy