Dear Prudence,
Do you have any general tips on what can even be done to help someone out… if it’s essentially not your business? I work with a guy a few years younger than me who’s in his early 20s. We are friends-ish but only due to working together a lot. He got his position because one of his parents is a part owner, lazed his way through the more entry level positions for a while, but somehow ended up becoming second in command at our store location. (It’s the kind of job where this doesn’t affect my life or ability to make money that much, and I’m sincerely not looking for a promotion, but a few of us often need to step in with things because we have more experience.) On top of that, he still lives at home with his parents, doesn’t seem interested in moving up in our field, and doesn’t even seem to like the work. On top of THAT, despite being obviously funny and smart, he is sure there’s nothing out there for him at all (ESPECIALLY romantically). If he didn’t have this job I’m not sure he’d do much of anything.
I can’t snap my fingers and make him half the boss. I’m sometimes very angry he doesn’t care about being better, and I’m certainly not finding him a girlfriend in my leisure time, but what do you… do? Is this just a drop it, throw out the same platitudes you always do when the self deprecation comes out, then leave it alone kind of thing? There’s only so much concerned discussions with co-workers that we can’t help having and I’ve reached the point of needing to see my way out of them because it feels unproductive and mean. But we care about the kid! Do we let this take its course?
—Ever Present Nunya