Sisters really suck today.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My sister is dating a single father with three small children. I rent a beach house every August with two of my friends and my 22-year-old daughter. My daughter had an amazing job offer and can’t make the trip now. So there was a free bedroom.

I offered it to my sister and her boyfriend thinking they could use a couples’ vacation since I knew money was tight. Only now the boyfriend wants to bring all three kids and even went so far as to tell them they were coming without running it by me. I told them that wasn’t kosher and the kids couldn’t come. Now, my sister is beyond pissed at me. I am “ruining her relationship” and the kids are upset and disappointed. I told her she needed to point fingers at her boyfriend here. This was an adults-only vacation. You can’t randomly assume that the kids were welcome to come. We are still fighting about this. Should I just go ahead and give the bedroom to someone else?

—Vacation Pain

banana468

"Sis - what could I have done to make it clear to you that the invitation was for adults only?  I'm sorry that you feel this way as this was always intended to be a child-free week." 

short+sassy

WTF is wrong with this guy and the sister?!?!  They knew it was only one bedroom available and the rest of the travelers were adults.  It's unfathomable to me that anyone would just assume his children were invited, without at least double-checking.

The LW should tell the sister that this is causing too much tension and they are going to offer the room to someone else.  The sister and b/f are angry about the situation and there's a good chance they'll bring the vacation vibe down.  I'd also be a little worried they would bring the kids anyway.  

levioosa

I would be pissed at the BF if I was sister. Um, don't tell kids that they get to go on a fun vacation before you have hammered down some more details. Also what makes you think you could take three small children to a one bedroom with all other adults, no children vacation? This sounds like he was trying to shoe in a free family vacation and that's way shitty. 

mrsconn23

Ugh.  This isn't even worth engaging in a 'fight' over with her.  

Also, take this as a lesson learned LW.  Don't invite your sister and this BF (or maybe any future ones) on your annual beach house vacation.  She doesn't understand the rules or explain them clearly to her partner(s). 

short+sassy

levioosa said:

I would be pissed at the BF if I was sister. Um, don't tell kids that they get to go on a fun vacation before you have hammered down some more details. Also what makes you think you could take three small children to a one bedroom with all other adults, no children vacation? This sounds like he was trying to shoe in a free family vacation and that's way shitty. 

I was curious about this also.  Where was the b/f picturing his kids sleeping?

Perhaps a "live" kid carpet in their bedroom.  Or taking over the shared living room and they are sleeping on couches.  So much for cocktails and conversations until the wee hours of the morning, with that configuration.

banana468

short+sassy said:

levioosa said:

I would be pissed at the BF if I was sister. Um, don't tell kids that they get to go on a fun vacation before you have hammered down some more details. Also what makes you think you could take three small children to a one bedroom with all other adults, no children vacation? This sounds like he was trying to shoe in a free family vacation and that's way shitty. 

I was curious about this also.  Where was the b/f picturing his kids sleeping?

Perhaps a "live" kid carpet in their bedroom.  Or taking over the shared living room and they are sleeping on couches.  So much for cocktails and conversations until the wee hours of the morning, with that configuration.

Exactly.  This had "kids take the family space" written all over it and then the adults would have to walk on eggshells around them.

I'm a parent and.....nope.