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Wedding Woes
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Stop worrying about dating and live your life.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 

I’m a 23-year-old woman, and I feel lucky to have a great life in general. I have a well-paying job I enjoy, plenty of friends, and hobbies I love. However, I have a problem: I simply have no interest in dating! I consider myself to be bisexual, but if I’m being honest, I don’t really feel a desire to have sex with anyone (I have had sex once before, and felt pretty ambivalent about it). I have kissed several people over the course of my life, but find kissing to be vaguely unpleasant at best and repulsive at worst. Recently, I have been forcing myself to go on dates with people I meet on dating apps because I feel that’s what I should do at my age, but it just seems like such a waste of time and I would rather be doing other things. But I do not want to be alone forever, and would eventually like to find a life partner and have a satisfying romantic relationship. Please help!

—Love Is Strange

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Re: Stop worrying about dating and live your life.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ah to be 23 again.  I know you feel this is what you should be doing at that age, LW, but if you don’t wanna, don’t.  You’re probably not even being the best you if you’re forcing yourself to go. You have many years ahead of you (hopefully) to date.

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You're young, and you have time to figure yourself out. Don't feel pressured, and also know that being ACE doesn't mean you have to be devoid of companionship. There are plenty of ACE couples. 


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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    LW, don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to.  If you're not interested in a physical relationship, you can be asexual with bisexual attraction. There are communities out there for you.  Asexual even has varying degrees in it from people who don't want sex at all, who are repulsed, who don't mind sex in a relationship but don't actively desire it, etc.  Dating doesn't have to equal sex, but make your boundaries clear to anyone you have a connection with.  And you don't have to date.  I have no interest in dating at all right now.  That might change in the future, but I'm not actively pursuing making it change either.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Don't force yourself into dating. It's awful when you want to do it; do not torture yourself. 

    Don't worry about the long term. Even if you find a long term partner right now (which is a crap shoot at 23), partners don't stay forever. 
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