Dear Prudence,
My wife’s nephew, Finn, is almost 4 years old. He was late to talk and as of now isn’t super verbal—he often repeats three to five word phrases. Finn doesn’t frequently make eye contact or respond to his name. He has strong negative reactions to overstimulating environments, and when he plays he likes to organize things, and is pretty singularly focused. Based on my informed though non-specialist perspective, I think it’s likely Finn might be on the Autism spectrum. As far as I know, Finn’s parents haven’t flagged this, nor have his daycare staff or doctors. I celebrate Finn’s possible neurodivergence and don’t think it’s a problem, but I also know early intervention can be extremely helpful, and that time to implement this is running out. I don’t necessarily feel it’s my place to say something to his parents—I have relationships with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and see them somewhat regularly but we’re not that close. Do I find a way to advocate for Finn without overstepping, possibly by involving my wife or her parents? Is it my responsibility to alert the parents or would I be better off staying out of it?
—Helpful or Instrusive?