Need advice

knottie3462061d5f35d29c

My son is getting married later this month in the beautiful Colorado mountains.   He knows I want to propose to my girlfriend and would love to do it with the mountain setting. We will be out there several days before his wedding.  

He has asked that I don’t do it before the weeding and take away from his day, I get that and understand that.   

His wedding will be a quiet, short, small wedding.   We will have dinner later that day and then leave the next day, as him and his new wife will be too.   Would proposing before his wedding, days before and just not telling others until after his day be ok?  Still among his day all it should be?   

I want my proposal to be a magical & memorable one, as it will be both of our second marriages.   My son knows I already have a ring for her.  

Thank you for your comments

banana468

Stay an extra day and do it later.  

There is no one who gets a new engagement ring who doesn't wear it with glee. People would find out that you knowingly did what your son asked you not to do and did it anyway.   Go home a day later than everyone and plan a romantic proposal once their festivities are over. 

Jen4948

knottie3462061d5f35d29c said:

My son is getting married later this month in the beautiful Colorado mountains.   He knows I want to propose to my girlfriend and would love to do it with the mountain setting. We will be out there several days before his wedding.  

He has asked that I don’t do it before the weeding and take away from his day, I get that and understand that.   

His wedding will be a quiet, short, small wedding.   We will have dinner later that day and then leave the next day, as him and his new wife will be too.   Would proposing before his wedding, days before and just not telling others until after his day be ok?  Still among his day all it should be?   

I want my proposal to be a magical & memorable one, as it will be both of our second marriages.   My son knows I already have a ring for her.  

Thank you for your comments

I agree with the PP. Even if you get engaged before your son's wedding, didn't actually tell anyone about your engagement, and didn't announce it at his wedding, anyone who has just accepted a marriage proposal or had one accepted, especially if there's an engagement ring, is going to radiate private joy and romance coming from a source that isn't the couple who is actually getting married.  And if anyone at the wedding other than your son is aware that you and your girlfriend are at the point of getting engaged, seeing you looking like that might just clue them in to your engagement. So if you want to get engaged while you're there but not take away from your son's wedding, I would do it after the wedding. 

climbingsingle

Stay an extra day and do it after the wedding. He’s asked you not to do it before. 

knottieedca7352d868d336

If your bride-to-be can keep a secret, then, yes definitely propose as it suits you.  This whole narcissistic attitude of the younger generation is enough to make me sick.  The me-me-me attitude of nobody's allowed to die, get a disease, be happy, have a baby, get married in the same year, get engaged, announce a pregnancy, wear anything other than dull, dull, dull beige is just wrong!  Weddings exist to provide witnesses for and to celebrate nuptials before god, NOT to anoint the bride and groom as king and queen for the day!

banana468

knottieedca7352d868d336 said:

If your bride-to-be can keep a secret, then, yes definitely propose as it suits you.  This whole narcissistic attitude of the younger generation is enough to make me sick.  The me-me-me attitude of nobody's allowed to die, get a disease, be happy, have a baby, get married in the same year, get engaged, announce a pregnancy, wear anything other than dull, dull, dull beige is just wrong!  Weddings exist to provide witnesses for and to celebrate nuptials before god, NOT to anoint the bride and groom as king and queen for the day!

Yeah - I don't think anyone is saying that this is about being king or queen for the day.  It's about respecting requested wishes of the OP's offspring AND not deliberately looking to upstage the couple.

You may be new here but the majority consensus here is that life doesn't get put on hold for a wedding HOWEVER there's also a respect that the couple deserve.  

Then again by your statement if the OP's son and daughter in law walked in to the OP's wedding to announce to all family that they felt that was the perfect time to share that they were with child, it's perfect timing.

MyNameIsNot

LW, this is your kid. Let him have his wedding without trying to upstage it. 

ILoveBeachMusic

Agree with PPs stay a day later to propose.

levioosa

knottieedca7352d868d336 said:

If your bride-to-be can keep a secret, then, yes definitely propose as it suits you.  This whole narcissistic attitude of the younger generation is enough to make me sick.  The me-me-me attitude of nobody's allowed to die, get a disease, be happy, have a baby, get married in the same year, get engaged, announce a pregnancy, wear anything other than dull, dull, dull beige is just wrong!  Weddings exist to provide witnesses for and to celebrate nuptials before god, NOT to anoint the bride and groom as king and queen for the day!

Yeah....no one said B&G get to be king and queen, but it is pretty shitty to propose at someone else's wedding. 

LW, just stay an extra day and do it then. Is doing it during the wedding event worth the hurt feelings and potential fall out? 

VerizonGirl

Your son chose the beautiful Colorado mountains - let him have this place and this weekend.  You should choose a different location, and different time, for proposing.