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Wedding Woes

Why are your parents trying to pick your friends?

Dear Prudence,

I can’t make a single normal friend. Not one. Not that not being the stereotype of “normal” is at all a bad thing, of course. All my friends are a little unusual: One goes into the woods to light candles and worship something I’ve never heard of; another is a gender I can’t pronounce; one dissociates and writes code at 2 a.m. while not blinking and singing Bad Omens; another is obsessed with serial killers. I support them all, but I can’t help but wonder, is there something about me that attracts unusual folks? I look around at other people and their friends laughing and talking about movies, and I wonder how my friend (lying on the floor talking about aliens) found me. Is there something about me that isn’t “normal,” or something that attracts them? Is there a way I can make more “normal” friends? My parents worry about me, they say I’ll be a loser in college if I can’t make “normal” friends. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t want to lose my friends, but how can I befriend more normals, to satisfy my family at least?

—I Swear I’m Normal

Re: Why are your parents trying to pick your friends?

  • Your parents are assholes and your friends are fine. 

    Maybe you're drawn to people who don't fit the stereotypical mold of what a teenager is "supposed" to be or maybe you just found people you connect with about something deeper than movies. You're fine. 
  • I mean, if you enjoy their company, and you're having a good time, who really cares (besides your parents, obviously). Do I think all of you are neurodivergent? Yes, the call is coming from inside the house. lol. But who gives af. Do you have fun with them? Are they supportive? Do they help you grow? Then let them ramble about the intricate life cycle of the Dung Beetle and don't overthink it. 

    Obviously now I realize that a good amount of my angst as a teen came from being neurodivergent and not having any recognition of that by teachers or parents, but you know who was the best and supportive and we had a blast? My bff who I've known since we were six (and who now, as an adult, I realize is also wildly neurodivergent). Did she want to be a lion tamer through most of high school? Yes. Does she own a farm now with a completely different lifestyle than I would ever want? Yes. But she is the absolute best, she's my biggest cheerleader, and our friendship brings me great joy and helps me look at things from different points of view. "Normal" friends is a misnomer. Everyone is a little bit weird in their own way. Be weird, LW. Have "weird" friends.


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  • I'm curious what colleges their parents went to where everyone was "normal".  That was not my experience, lol.

    Weird is not a bad word.  Portland, OR's city motto is "Keep Portland Weird".
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • They just wish us the best
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