Dear Prudence,
I work with children, including special needs children, in a professional capacity. I am usually wiped mentally and physically at the end of the day and just want to relax. My sister-in-law has two children with high special needs. She does get respite care from the state but on a limited basis. We never had a warm relationship because when I was dating my husband, I saw early warning signs in her youngest and advised her to talk to her pediatrician and look at testing. She called me every name in the book and threw my infertility in my face. I could never be a mother so my position was unfounded and my opinion worthless. Since then I have kept my distance, but my in-laws keep putting pressure on me to help out. They live much closer and rarely watch the kids more than an hour because they are too overwhelmed. This request is never directed at my husband, just me. It doesn’t help that my sister-in-law went down the anti-vax rabbit hole until her husband nearly died from COVID. She has repeatedly ignored the advice from professionals when it comes to the kids .I just don’t want to open that door but I want to keep the family peace. My husband says to ignore it. Any thoughts?
—Lock the Door