Wedding Woes

You inserted yourself. Own that.

Dear Prudence, 

My nephew announced his engagement to “Bree,” A friend of mine used to babysit my nephew as a child and offered a free engagement shoot. They are semi-professional photographers. Well, Bree turned out to be a diva. She wasn’t content with having the shoot in town but wanted a place 75 miles away. My friend arrived to set up only for Bree to call and cancel because her make-up artist flaked, so no shoot. She wasn’t apologetic at all. I was so embarrassed that I paid the cancellation fee and gas for my friend.

My friend went on to contact my nephew with an offer to do a low-cost shoot in town. Bree threw a fit that it wasn’t her dream and made false and unflattering reports on social media. She later deleted them but this is my friend’s livelihood! At this point, I was fed up and told my nephew to consider the money I paid my friend to be their wedding gift from me. I have been very generous to my other nieces and nephews but not one of them acted as horribly as Bree. My nephew and sister are upset with me. They were counting on the money. This has caused a large amount of drama. What should I do now?

—Drama in Dallas


Re: You inserted yourself. Own that.

  • The LW should also be pissed that their nephew and his fiance were "counting" on the LW's wedding gift money.  Now the LW's sister is also endorsing this gross entitled attitude.

    The LW should also gift them a book on money management.  I'm joking of course, because that would fan the flames further.  But it sounds like the couple needs one.  Bree must not have very good impulse control.  It was so stupid to post a lying, negative review about someone that she knows is a family friend of her fiance and friends with the LW, ie the rich and generous relative.  Especially when the couple already spent the money for a gift they haven't received yet. 

    The LW shouldn't go back on their decision.  Bree and the nephew did act horribly and shouldn't be rewarded for that.  I feel bad for the friend also.  The friend thought highly enough of the nephew to offer a free engagement shoot and in return is punished with a scathing, untrue review.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • knonceknonce member
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    The entitlement and rudeness displayed by Bree and the nephew is disappointing. Family relationships are so important, but also have to involve mutual respect. Perhaps giving them some time and space, while also supporting the friend, is the best path forward right now until hopefully cooler heads prevail. Ultimately people need to take responsibility for their own actions and not blame others for natural consequences.
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