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Wedding Woes

Either be honest or make a list of 50 excuses to use.

Dear Prudence,

This is a pretty low-stakes question about an annoying co-worker. I have a co-worker who’s constantly asking me to go out and drink with him after work—like every day. He’s in his late 40s, recently split up with his wife, and is new to our city—so it feels it’s like a mid-life crisis type of thing for him. I’m down for a night out on the town once every couple of weeks, but most nights, I just want to go home and watch TV with my boyfriend and my dog. I’m kind of extroverted-introvert, in that I’ll close down the bar when I go out, but most days I’d rather fall asleep watching Bake Off on the couch in my apartment. Since I’m a bit younger (early 30s), I think he’s decided to cast me as his party wing-woman, and while I can happily play that role once in a while, I’m running out of excuses as to why I can’t go out every time.

It’s gotten to the point where I try to avoid him in the office and there’s only so many times I can claim to have a nail/hair appointment after work. My excuse rolodex has runneth dry. Is there a nice way to say to someone: “I like hanging out with you, but most of the time, I’d rather just be at home” without hurting their feelings? I work pretty closely with this guy, so I don’t want to make this a big deal.

—Party Pooper


Re: Either be honest or make a list of 50 excuses to use.

  • "Sounds like fun, but I have some quality time with the couch scheduled tonight."

    That's it. You're allowed to tell people you just want to go home. 
  • Did Pam Beesly write this? The next letter is going to be about the hilariously worst dinner party she's every been to after getting trapped into saying she doesn't have any plans for the night.


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  • "Sorry, my social battery is dead.  It's take out and trash TV for me and the dog tonight!" 

    DH would never want me to go out with work friends all.of.the.time, regardless of gender.  He would be so annoyed.  

    LW just needs to start declining more than they accept.  There is no reason to feel this obligated to a late 40's divorced guy that you work with. 
  • Um, yes LW.  You can say exactly that.  Like, "I'm down for going out to get a drink after work sometimes, but I usually prefer to head home.  So I'm going to have to pass for today.  But why don't we plan to hit Paddy's Pub next Thursday?  They have a great happy hour."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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