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Wedding Woes

There's a lot of holes in this whole story.

Dear Prudence, 

My father left when I was 3-years-old and didn’t visit or speak to me until I was almost 18. Since then, I’ve only seen him a handful of times. Currently, I’m 27 and keep in contact with him mostly because I want to stay in the lives of my two younger half-sisters. Lately, however, I’ve noticed that he has a habit of lying to his family about his role in my life.

At first, I brushed it off, but it’s getting more egregious. The last time I went to visit, for example, he mentioned at the dinner table that he had partial custody of me, which is not true. He also lied to my stepmom by saying that he called me everyday as a child and attended all my school events. Part of me wants to let this go for the sake of keeping the peace, but I also feel used and hurt. Is there a way I can bring this up without burning bridges?

—Conflict Avoidant

Re: There's a lot of holes in this whole story.

  • When someone repeats what he said try “that’s not how I remember it” and leave it at that. If your father is the one saying it, and you’re around, try “I lived with mom during that time”. Seems like he’s rewriting history to make himself look better- you don’t have to support that narrative. 
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