Wedding Woes

Let him come along as your unpaid volunteer if he thinks it's so great.

Dear Prudence, 

Through my job, I have recently acquired a few new clients in pretty “fun” industries: One is a professional sports team and one is a film production company. My job has always involved a lot of client upkeep, including evening and weekend events, and with these particular clients, that often means attending games or receptions involving celebrities. These are not fun parties for me. They are not totally unpleasant, but above all else, they are work obligations. I spend most of them stressed out and running around like a chicken with my head cut off, because my job is to make sure the event is running smoothly. The problem is that my husband doesn’t see it that way. He gets resentful when I ask if he can watch the kids so I can work, in a way he never did when my clients were, say, accounting firms or City Hall. He constantly asks to come along and be my “date,” and keeps implying that what I’m doing is not real work like his job, but just fun parties. I don’t need a wingman. I just need to do my job and come home. Dealing with this mix of jealousy and judgment is getting really old. Do you have any advice?

—It’s a Job

Re: Let him come along as your unpaid volunteer if he thinks it's so great.

  • STOP ASKING IF YOUR HUSBAND CAN "WATCH" THE KIDS!  He is PARENTING, not babysitting. 

    Also, how often is LW working these events where they're taken away on evenings and weekends?  Maybe part of the frustration is mismatched schedules and division of parenting and household labor.   Maybe that is a way in on this conversation vs. him being butthurt about not being able to meet Ryan Reynolds. 

    I think he's being a real pain.  However, if there is an event where LW could take him as a 'plus one'/assistant/helper/etc., then do it.  If he can't behave (not gawk, try to finagle meeting people, is weird if he meets someone 'famous') and/or isn't helpful, then you know. Also, maybe it could help prove your point that it's not this rubbing elbows thing where you're just shooting the shit with Caleb Williams.  You're literally 'on' and have no time for shenanigans. 

    If I had a job working events for the Colts and I could take DH with me on occasion, I would. 
  • @levioosa, if it could be perceived as unprofessional, then it should be an outright no.  However since the LW didn't mention that, I'm assuming it isn't a factor.

    I'm wondering if the LW has ever invited him to an event.  Maybe if he at least went to one event, he could see for himself what she is talking about.

    I like the idea of using him as unpaid hired help if he wants to come.  But it's also possible there isn't a task he has the right skill set for.  Including the skill(s) being strong enough that the LW can put her utmost confidence in him doing it correctly AND not being distracted by the A-listers roaming about.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yeah  - if I was able to get some kind of racing benefit I'd absolutely look to see if I could bring DH from time to time.  But @levioosa touches on the other smart aspect that a spouse showing up a as a tagalong implies that neither of them take this job seriously and he doesn't take HER seriously.   
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