Dear Prudence,
I’m deeply troubled by what’s happening with my friend Emily. We’ve been close since our exchange program in this new country, and we decided to stay after our studies. While Emily has always been cautious and struggled with relationships, I’ve been more outgoing and social. When Emily started dating Max, I expressed my concerns. I wasn’t just worried about their compatibility—I couldn’t shake a sense of discomfort. Max seemed to represent everything I felt unsettled by, and I couldn’t understand why Emily was so drawn to him. Despite my warnings, Emily chose to stay with Max, and their relationship grew stronger.
As we drifted apart, I focused more on my own dating life, which led me to Jake, who is from the same country as Max. I’ve found myself obsessively discussing Jake and his qualities, often comparing him to Max, though I don’t fully understand why this comparison feels so urgent. There’s an underlying tension that’s hard to articulate. My behavior—bragging about Jake and monopolizing conversations—feels driven by something deeper than simple jealousy. There’s a sense that my actions are masking something I can’t quite name. My relationship with Emily has suffered, and I’m aware that I might be pushing her away. I’m struggling with these mixed emotions and the way they’re influencing my actions. Am I overstepping, or is there something I’m not fully acknowledging about my own feelings?
—Awkward to the Max