Are you just trying anything or seeking out things you actually enjoy?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’m 19 and in college, and I’m incapable of making friends. I’ve done everything right. I join clubs and activities, I talk to people, I initiate conversations with a lot of people, and I smile. But whenever I sit at a table, people leave. Whenever I ask a question, I’m either ignored or get a short answer and no follow-up. Nobody has initiated any form of contact with me beyond, “Can you get the door?” and “On your left.” It’s a large school, and I see hundreds of kids a day. How is it that they all avoid me like the plague? Is it something I’m doing or not doing? How do I get people to talk to me instead of acting like I’m some kind of untouchable disease?

—Quite Possibly a Loser

levioosa

This...is raising my spidey senses. Either LW does not know how to play well with others, or it almost sounds like they're doing ALL of the activities, instead of sticking with a few consistently that they enjoy to give relationships time to develop. You're not going to get a bestie the first time you go to a group event. But the last sentence makes me raise an eyebrow for sure.

mrsconn23

I can't tell if LW is socially awkward and throwing themselves into any and everything, but isn't being consistent in any of it, so people don't know who they are.  OR if LW thinks their presence is a gift to everyone and they should be noticed and welcomed because they deigned to show up.  But it literally takes going to something several times and seeing people over and over to create the relationships they're supposedly looking for.

Also, I feel like the easiest way to find people in college is to find people in your classes you can click with and let it go from there.