Dear Prudence,
About six months ago, I moved in with my boyfriend. It’s been absolutely wonderful, and our relationship has never been stronger. My boyfriend has a dog (Rudy), who he loves very much, and I knew when we got together that the dog was a non-negotiable, which I was fully on board with.
I love dogs generally and Rudy specifically—more than I thought I would ever love a pet, to be honest. However, the transition to living with a dog full-time has been more difficult than I expected. I’ve never had a dog before, and the reality of adapting to life with Rudy hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped it would be. He’s a pretty well-behaved dog, and I genuinely love him, but I sometimes find myself frustrated by constantly needing to interrupt my work or house chores or just relaxation time to take Rudy out and go on walks and so on. My patience sometimes wears thin when he wants a lot of attention or starts barking for no reason, and I feel bad for being frustrated with him for just living his life.
My boyfriend travels a lot for work, so it’s often me at home alone with Rudy, and I’m afraid I might start resenting the poor animal for… existing. We take advantage of dog walkers and pet sitters when possible to give me a break, but due to availability (we live in a rural area that’s pretty remote from a lot of other people/services) and finances, it’s not a solution we can use often. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about my fear of resenting Rudy, and he understands that the transition has been trickier than expected and that living with a dog can be overstimulating sometimes. We’ve had productive conversations about it, so it’s not like I’m harboring this secret from him. At the end of the day, I love my boyfriend and I love Rudy and don’t want to feel resentment toward Rudy or be frustrated with his existence. I’d love advice on how to increase my patience with the pup and not view him as an interruption or inconvenience.
—Dog Days