Dear Prudence,
Last spring, I quit my PhD program. My three closest friends, however, are still in that program, and when I see them, it seems like it’s all they can talk about. They check in on me and my job search, but then they launch into discussions about who’s teaching when and whose advisor said what that I just can’t participate in. It makes me feel excluded and brings up all the feelings of worthlessness that come with giving up on my previous career goal (I know therapy would help here, but my insurance situation isn’t stable now). When they talk about anything else, it’s their long-term relationships—and I just got broken up with. I want to invite them out for my birthday in two weeks, but the thought of sitting through another one of these conversations sounds miserable. At the same time, I care about these people and want them in my life. I think once I have a full-time job and they’ve graduated and moved on to their separate lives it will be easier, but how can I get through this now?
—Dr. Dropout