Dear Prudence,
My first and second husband both had children from a first marriage. I never did. I had some hands in raising my first stepchildren but my second stepchildren were already married adults with children of their own when I married their father. I am not close to them. I am close to their children.
My first husband was a jeweler and made many expensive pieces for me. I treasure them greatly. My stepdaughter from my first marriage announced her engagement and she invited my husband and me. I was so touched that I decided to offer one of the pieces to wear. It was so touching to see her delight over being given something that her father handmade that I decided to let my granddaughters each pick out a piece for them to inherit when I am gone (or they get married or graduate).
I didn’t realize what a rush of greed it would start. My daughter-in-law is upset that her adult daughter who I never met wasn’t getting one while her stepdaughters were. One of my unmarried stepdaughters has been egging on her sisters by saying that they are being deliberately slighted by me because I am not offering them any pieces. I bluntly asked why the hell they thought they were entitled to my jewelry from my first marriage at all. I could toss the lot into the ocean and it wouldn’t affect them.
My husband fully supports me, but this entire situation has left me feeling sick. I never expected such greed out of his children and it is raising alarm bells for me. They all inherited jewelry from their mother, grandmother, and my late sister-in-law and aren’t satisfied. My husband is about a decade older than me. Is this how they are going to act when he dies? What do I do in the meantime?
—Sick of the Greed