Offer one more time and then do what you need to do.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence, 

Six months ago, my girlfriend was killed in an accident. We were on the outs so my grief has been complicated. Her family lives on the opposite coast and after the funeral, they only took a small part of her belongings back.

Since then, I have approached her parents and sister to see if there was anything else of hers that they wanted. Most of it is sentimental like clothes, books, and little trinkets. But also there is furniture and other large bulky items that she either bought before we got together or came from her family. If I get a response, it is borderline hostile. I am a cold bastard for bothering them about this but how dare I suggest getting rid of anything.
I can’t afford to pay for a two bedroom by myself and can’t really get a roommate in what amounts to a mausoleum. And I can’t afford to mail it or pay for it to be stored. I am struggling to keep my own bills paid off. So what do I do here?

—Six Months

banana468

Offer one more time and be clear what will happen to it.  With the offer add a deadline

ei34

A final email. With hopefully a touch of time for them, if possible. 

“The lease on the home that __ and I shared expires on January 31st, and I’m moving to a new home on Feb 1st.  Enclosed is a list of items that belonged to her before we’d met.  I will arrange to have them picked up by ABC women’s shelter / Local Veterans group, etc on January 25th, unless you plan on picking them up before then, just let me know by <insert date>.” 

Personally I’d be willing to mail one box of the smaller items/trinkets, since they’re across the country. But not the furniture.

short+sassy

I'm going to take a page for what landlords in some states need to do when a tenant has been evicted and their property is left in the house.

If the guy has the money for one month's storage, it would be a kindness to pack all her stuff and put it in a storage unit.  Pay JUST the first month.  The storage place will not obligate him to pay any more.  Then notify her parents.

Text/e-mail is best since there is specific info to convey, "I know it's still hard for you to go through Jane's things, but I couldn't keep them in my apartment anymore because (needed roommate or moved).  They are now stored at ABC Storage at 123 Main St, Unit 11.  The combo for the lock is XYZ.  I paid for the first month, but cannot afford to pay any further.  It's $87/month due on the 15th.  Here is the website where payments can be made, until you all feel ready to collect the things.