My fiancé and I are both Christians and faith is an important part of our lives and our relationship. While we aren't "hardcore, go to church every Sunday Christians," we still value our faith and our relationship with God and have discussed how we want that to come into play with our marriage and future family.
My family, especially my grandparents, are very serious about our faith (I'm not saying I'm not, but they were very strict about what you HAD to do as a Christian) and we'd pray before every meal (typically the same prayer before meals, but would be more extensive for special meals, different things going on in life, and other things like that) go to church and church events, celebrate religious holidays, etc. And even from a young age, I learned to play every night (kind of silly, but I still use a version of the prayer my mom taught me as a child to "open up" my prayers every evening. My family went to church every Sunday, but I really struggled with enjoying church because the congregation was very old and there wasn't hardly anyone my age. I would still listen to the message and do my best, but even as I got older, it never felt like it was every directly towards me, which I know the message every Sunday isn't for a specific individual, but while I listened to the message and got what I could out of it, they all went back to topics that were mostly aimed towards grown adults with families, finances, work issues, etc. and it was difficult for me to relate that to my current situation, regardless the phase of life I was in. I did my devotionals and other things to keep touch with God and go find things that were more applicable to me and my age/what I was going through. Alternatively, my fiancé was not someone who went to church every Sunday, but still was strong in his faith and, similarly, had his devotionals, listened to messages online, had weekly Bible studies with his friends, and used similar outlets that I did. Even though I went to church every week and he didn't (I know it doesn't necessarily make a huge difference) we both used the same ways to build and expand our faith. Additionally, he had friends that were also strong in their faith, some more than others (which will be relevant coming up), but I never had friends like that and did struggle a bit.
Is was previously engaged as well and broke it off after about 4 months because I knew it wasn't the right fit. My ex-fiancé and his family were not religious at all and that did concern me for our future and family, which is another reason I broke things off. I've always wanted to do premarital counseling, but he didn't seem interested and finding an officiant was more of a "wouldn't it be funny if my friend (who had no real relationship with God) did it??" I was always against that idea.
Fast forward to now and I'm a year away from my wedding. We booked our venue/met with the coordinators and they asked if we had an officiant yet. My fiancé and I had talked about it and knew we wanted someone we both picked and it was meaningful to both of us, not just someone one of us knew/the one who was the pastor at my church, a friend he had that was a pastor, or something like that. We were honestly looking into finding one by "interviewing" them to find the right fit. At our consultation for our venue, his mom suggested one of his friends, who is very kind, a great person, and would do a really good job. I'm not opposed to the idea, but the thought of premarital counseling came into play. I was always sure that I wanted to do premarital counseling, but obviously wouldn't want one of his best friends to do it.
My main question is where could we find someone to do JUST premarital counseling, even though they aren't our officiant? I'm sure there's services online, but I don't want to pay for normal "therapy" because I want it to be Christian based. I would also like if they did virtual meetings because my fiancé and I are currently long-distance for a bit because of college.
Does anyone have any experience with this to any advice or recommendations? Anything and everything is helpful and appreciated!
Thanks! ❤️