Dear Prudence,
I travel a lot for work. My best friend homeschools her two middle school age daughters; the younger one is my official god daughter. For the past year, the girls have frequently flown out to stay with me while I am traveling for a few days. We go to museums and other fun activities. The girls will actively engage in the regions and even send me reports that they do for school.
The problem is that my brother and sister have both repeatedly made comments that I have done nothing like this for their kids. I usually brush it off, as their kids are in school so it isn’t practical. The real reason is their kids are immature and spoiled. I can’t trust the older ones, who are actual teenagers, not to wander off at a farmer’s market and disappear without a word. They have been caught sneaking alcohol and their parents’ weed before. The younger ones are addicted to their screens, extremely picky eaters, and constantly fighting each other. I don’t want to waste time or money trying to take them to Williamsburg to hear them whine they want chicken tenders and their iPads.
My brother and sister are extremely permissive and the type to think that everyone else is the problem when their kids act out and get in trouble. I get along find with the kids when I visit and our family is around. One-on-one is a big nope for me. I really don’t want to have this conversation with my brother or sister. It will not be productive or produce any positive changes. I learned that lesson well when the kids were young and their parents let them run around in restaurants and trash the booths. I needed to “stay in my lane because I don’t understand what being a parent is like” and get no opinion about the kids. I just want them to drop the topic. Help!
—Travels