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Wedding Woes

Girl, get out

Six weeks ago my husband of almost three years took off. I came home from work to find him standing in the kitchen with a suitcase, saying that it was nothing personal but he needed to get away for a while, and then he left. I didn’t hear from him or see him for five weeks. I was hurt but I was also frantic with worry. I thought we were very happy, and this came completely out of the blue. He didn’t go to work (they said he’d taken a leave of absence), hadn’t spoken to any of our friends about this, and his parents claimed he wasn’t in touch with them. He came back last Thursday. He refuses to answer any questions about where he was and what he was doing. He is also a little angry with me for “involving” our friends and family in “his” personal business. I am torn between thinking that he was having some kind of crisis and thinking that he’s spent the last five and half weeks with another woman. Now that he’s home, he seems to want me to forget this ever happened and pick up right where we left off. I have told him that he needs to tell me where he’s been and what he’s done, or he can leave again. He says he’s not talking about it anymore and is not going anywhere. What should I do?

Re: Girl, get out

  • Get a lawyer. 

    Honestly, you should have done that and changed the locks while he was gone. 
    This.  And filed a missing person's report?   

    If you need a relationship where there are no questions asked then marriage isn't for you. 
  • Leave now and call a lawyer on the way. 
  • I took a first time homebuyer's class before I bought my first house.  It was four nights and they had an expert for each part of the process come in over that time.

    Including a real estate attorney.  I remember him telling us a crazy story about a woman who had married a guy in her youth (early 20s).  Shortly after they got married, he went out for "milk" one day and never came back.  I think a friend or family member passed along he wasn't coming back, so she knew it wasn't something where he'd been killed/in the hospital.  She never hears from him and moves on with her life.  But never bothered filing for divorce.

    12 years later, she bought her first house.  Six weeks after closing, he suddenly shows up again and wants half the equity in the house.  She had marked off on her loan documents that she was unmarried.  Not to be deceptive, but she had just long since forgotten about him and definitely didn't consider herself to be married.  But she legally was.

    Now she files for divorce! She ends up paying him $5K to drop his claim for her house.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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