Please stop asking

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I am a 30-something working professional who has lived in the same apartment complex for the last five years. I have few complaints about my current living situation. It is a relatively small complex (10 units) with one communal washer and dryer for all tenants and several unassigned parking spaces. My neighbors are cordial and we know each other, but everyone keeps to themselves. Recently, a new tenant moved in and seemed to be a good fit… at first. After some brief chats in passing over the course of several weeks she asked for my phone number. I had no issue sharing it with her, as I have several other neighbor’s phone numbers, primarily in case of an emergency. However, it turned out she was collecting my number to start a text thread with everyone in the building.

In the thread, she proposed that she thought it was a good idea for everyone to coordinate the usage of both the laundry and on-site parking so they could be used “fairly and equitably.” She sent out a spreadsheet and requested we all sign up for time slots to use these amenities. I was taken aback—I work long hours and travel frequently for work (often on short notice), and I do not have the time or desire to coordinate when I am doing my laundry with other adults I barely know. Several people responded but I felt no need to engage and ignored her requests.

Recently, she approached me in person and asked why I hadn’t added myself to her spreadsheet. I told her that the laundry and parking had been on a first come first serve basis and that no one has seemed to have an issue with it and left it at that. She has approached me on several other occasions now and has become increasingly insistent that I participate. She has brought it up in the text thread nearly every day despite me finally making it clear in person that I would not participate. It is to the point that I feel like I need to race in and out of my apartment to avoid her. I don’t know how else to convey to her that even if she considers this to be important, she needs to respect my boundaries and leave me out of her attempts to turn this apartment building into a “fair and equitable” community. Bringing this up with our landlord seems excessive to me; however, at this point I am at a loss as to how to handle it. Any advice?

—Not a Co-Op!

banana468

"I specifically rent here due to the first come first serve access and continue to need that due to my schedule.  This is not something in which I will participate and I have to say if you intend to try to enforce this I'd have to bring it to the attention of the property management team." 

Casadena

I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. I guarantee my reaction would be laughter and a "what? no I'm going to do my laundry whenever it's convenient for me". 

VarunaTT

I can't believe anyone entertained this nonsense in the first place.  Delete the thread, block her number, and tell her to leave alone or you'll have to escalate her harassment to the landlord.

short+sassy

It's weird the LW hasn't already deleted the thread, since they are being harassed by it on a daily basis.

But I'd leave one last snarky comment like, "Sorry, the first come/first serve basis for laundry and parking are the rules for this complex and they work a lot better than a rigid schedule that needs to be coordinated with 10 different households.  I'm leaving this thread now due to Neighbor using it to constantly bug me about her laundry schedule obsession."

And OMG also weird the LW hasn't SAID something like, "We obviously have very different views on this and I am not changing my mind, no matter how much you don't like that.  So STOP coming over to talk to me about it!  It's harassing and really pissing me off."

levioosa

Also, just from a "people are petty, this won't work" perspective, can you imagine how petty people will get if someone is 5-10 minutes late during "their time?" This is how dumb bullshit community drama starts. And anyone who has ever lived in a communal situation knows that the laundry is first come, first serve, and you might have to come back later to get your shit done. Is this her first time living somewhere like this? 

banana468

Also, how does this work with anyone else who doesn't have a set schedule or one that rotates?

And after this most recent holiday week when Chiquito complained I waited too long and he got stuck wearing his 2nd string undies and pants, what about lack of time or puke?

short+sassy

levioosa said:

Also, just from a "people are petty, this won't work" perspective, can you imagine how petty people will get if someone is 5-10 minutes late during "their time?" This is how dumb bullshit community drama starts. And anyone who has ever lived in a communal situation knows that the laundry is first come, first serve, and you might have to come back later to get your shit done. Is this her first time living somewhere like this? 

Exactly!

The last time I was a renter, the property was a duplex.  There was a shed in the back with a washer/dryer we shared with the other household.  That's the kind of situation where it's few enough people that a schedule might work better than first come/first serve.

But much more than that and it's too much.

It was never anything rigid, but we typically had a friendly agreement with the other side on which days of the week we would do laundry.  But if something came up and someone needed to do laundry on the other person's day, it was no big deal.  Usually a courtesy text with a heads up was sent, but that wasn't necessary either.