Dear Prudence,
My dearest wonderful husband has always been incredibly close to his mother, to the point that I sometimes felt left out. He also usually assumes everyone will always act in the best interest of everyone else, even when confronted with evidence otherwise. So, I don’t know what to do now.
A close, personal friend who was visiting my MIL recently has twice reported to us that her partner is drinking heavily and screaming at her for being forgetful, because she has Alzheimer’s and cannot remember even simple things. My MIL is 95 and shouldn’t be subjected to such abuse. I am appalled. My husband claims there is nothing he can do because we don’t live there, and we should just let them live it out. He also says he asked her and that is what she wants. He says unless I can think of a way to help, I should just stay quiet.
I can’t imagine letting this go on. I have already suggested Adult Protective Services and the like (but not to them). He has seen their finances; they have millions and can afford any care but apparently don’t want it. I had to watch one of my grandparents get abused until we could get her out of a relative’s care, so I don’t understand how he can stand by and let this happen. However, I want this to be about caring for her, and not my worries.
—How Could He Allow This?