Wedding Woes

You don't have to see this guy

Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend has a friend, “Mason,” who has zero filter. The most random crap will come out of his mouth, and then he acts like a kicked puppy for the rest of the day if you respond like a normal human being and don’t think it is funny. I am not sorry. If the first thing out your mouth to “good morning” is “I am pregnant and want to kill myself,” there are some wires crossed. I don’t know if Mason is on the spectrum or just trying to be edgy, but Mason crossed a serious line when my cousin came to visit.

Her boyfriend committed suicide last year and she was the one that found the body. She has had it really rough and frequently has violent nightmares. I told Mason to lay off my cousin and warned him about the situation. And what is the first phrase out of Mason when my cousin comes down for dinner? “Hi, I want to kill myself by sticking a gun in my mouth.” My cousin starts to scream and cry, Mason is babbling even more bullshit, my girlfriend is making excuses, and I tell Mason to get the hell out or he really would wish he was dead.

Now my girlfriend and I are fighting because I overreacted in her opinion, and I don’t think she is reacting enough. Mason is able to keep a job and obviously can keep his mouth shut with his bosses and dealing with the public. It was a shitty move intended to cause a bad reaction from my cousin, and she doesn’t deserve to deal with that after everything has been through. I don’t want Mason in our apartment anymore and if he tries this shit again, we are going to have more than words. My girlfriend claims I am being unfair and she and Mason have been friends since high school, I don’t get to make her choose. I love her, but this is unacceptable. So what now?

—No Filter

Re: You don't have to see this guy

  • What in the actual fvck?!  Unless this is some sort of medical issue, this is completely unacceptable, at all times.  That's not just a "filter" issue.

    Stand strong in your boundary of YOU not wanting to associate with him and not apologizing.  I would FLIP if someone did this to my friend.  I can't believe LW's GF is not flipping out. But you don't have to deal with someone who makes these kinds of statements in your life or respect other people's trauma.

    TBH, this would probably be a dealbreaker, b/c y'all's morals on "how to treat other people" are not aligning here.
  • Somehow I missed that this was his girlfriend, not wife. Refuse to see the dude for sure and if she can't understand why this is a problem, refuse to see her anymore either. 
  • Yeah, this would do it for me for the relationship. 

    Not only is this guy someone I wouldn't hang out with regardless, he was INTENTIONAL about trying to hurt someone. I get it, sometimes people don't have a filter, and they make off color jokes that land poorly or are unintentionally triggering for someone. But this was specifically targeted at cousin. He wanted to make her hurt and cause a scene. And please do not fucking blame autism, it doesn't make you cruel, and usually someone with autism would welcome the social guidance and prep. Mason has a personality disorder if anything (not to armchair psychologist this but I'm gonna do it). Mason would be persona non grata at the home, and if GF insisted on keeping him around, then she would be too. 


    image
  • He should tell his g/f she's under-reacting.  A purposely cruel person who made his cousin...a person who was a stranger to him...scream and cry, is not allowed back in the house.

    He should also point out he is not asking her to choose.  She can still hang out with her psycho friend.  Just not around him and in his home.

    Perhaps the OP should start questioning his g/f's lack of empathy and why she is friends with someone like this. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • He was warned and did it anyway. This isn’t a no filter situation, this guy is deliberately hiding behind that to be cruel and hurtful. Tat the GF was fine with him treating the cousin like that would be all I needed to know about her character. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards