Dear Prudence,
I am lucky to rent a house on a very quiet cul-de-sac. My 12-year-old daughter is the oldest child on the block and has started seriously babysitting for our neighbors after she finished her Red Cross training. Several times, she has babysat up to midnight or later on a Friday or Saturday. The parents always keep me up-to-date on their timing. My daughter is never more than five houses away from home and is very comfortable skipping across the street and letting herself in the house. Everyone has cameras. I stayed up the first several times that she babysat late, but it has never been someone we didn’t know. Now, I am usually asleep when she gets home.
My favorite summers were when my grandmother threw us out of the house and told us to go explore. Granted, it was the country and not suburbs, but I’d rather cultivate courage and independence in my daughter than anything else. The problem is, when I mention this to other mothers and my peers, people look at me like I am dropping my daughter off on Skid Row. Apparently, I am being “neglectful” and “horrible” for being comfortable falling asleep when my daughter isn’t in the house. I pointed out that my brothers and I often went camping further away from the house at a much younger age and that my grandparents and parents did not worry. And that was before widespread cell phones and security cameras.
They say it isn’t the same and that my daughter is “too young” or not being paid the “correct” rate. These jobs are consistent and she enjoys the money, while our neighbors enjoy not breaking the bank for date night. She was very proud when she bought her own gaming system this Christmas and Santa brought her the games she wanted. She is saving up for an electric scooter now. What do I say to these people? Several friends have complained that their daughters want to babysit now and they will not let them.