Dear Prudence,
My online friend and I have been friends for years, and I really value her friendship and our nightly chats. We’ve talked about meeting in person one day, but it’s more just a vague future possibility than concrete plan. Sometimes, she wants to meet and invites me to visit, then backtracks, not ready to meet in person. This inconsistency has been draining, but I understand her hesitance. We are, after all, internet strangers.
Well, my friend just told me she’s planning to move abroad within the next couple years. I’m trying to be happy and excited—I understand why she’d want to leave the U.S.—but for me, this spells the end of our friendship. She means a lot to me, and a move abroad will end our nightly conversations (because of the time difference), and it will certainly end the possibility of ever meeting in person. I asked her if we could please meet up just once before she moves, and she said no.
My feelings are hurt. I’ve been holding onto the hope of meeting and looking forward to that for so long, only to have it wither and die right in front of me. How could I talk to her about this without her feeling like I’m dunking on her exciting plans? Or should I just not say anything at all because this move is about her, not me?