Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband (42) and I have been together for 13 years. He’s one of those guys who ignores his health, mental and physical, until it’s absolutely dire. He hasn’t seen a dentist in years. I made his appointments for the first few years we were together but finally quit doing it once our kids (4-year-old twins and a 2-year-old) arrived because I had too much on my plate. I told him he’s an adult who needs to manage his own health. In his mind, that means “ignore it.”
He suffers from horrific acid reflux, and while I understand it’s genetic (his dad has the same) and that it’s not intentional, I am absolutely at my wits’ end with him not managing it. He takes Tums and other OTC medication, and hacks and coughs and spits constantly. Because he works swing shifts, he comes home in the middle of the night, and I wake up to the sound of him hacking into the sink in our bathroom with zero care or acknowledgement that I’m trying to sleep (I work 12-hour days on top of being the primary parent). It is killing me.
Divorcing someone for having acid reflux is pretty lame but I’m getting to that point. How do I tell him that if he doesn’t prioritize his health, he’s going to need to find a new wife who will?
—Tired in Texas