Dear Prudence,
I work from home and down the street from an elementary school. I had a good relationship with my neighbor. She was a single mom with a 5-year-old and a 9-year-old. The kids couldn’t walk home unless someone was there, and the 9-year-old was a bit too young to babysit. I volunteered to make the walk after school and leave my back door unlocked so that if an emergency happened, the kids could come over.
It worked fine at first, but my neighbor kept adding more and more. First, it was after-school pickups, then morning drop-offs because her work schedule was so hectic. Then she wanted me to watch her kids on weekends. I felt trapped and guilty since I was raised by a single dad and basically acted as a second parent to my younger siblings. I wasn’t getting paid, and it felt like pulling teeth to get her to pay for the food her kids ate. Talking to her about it was just another guilt trip.
I hit my limit when she volunteered me to other mothers without checking with me first. Rather than alienating my entire small neighborhood, I went on a monthlong working holiday in December. Now I’m back home, and my neighbor has been love-bombing me and trying to sweet-talk me back into child care. She claims that her kids miss me. I enjoy her kids, but they like getting to watch unrestricted TV more than they like me. She isn’t taking no for an answer, or it doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m feeling pressed. Can I just lie and say I got a new, stricter job?