Wedding Woes

Ultimatum time with H, imo

Dear Prudence,

My brother-in-law moved into our extra room because he didn’t want to move in with his mom and his dad lives with extended family in a crowded house. I was pregnant at the time, and it was hell living with a surly teenager and a baby. My husband was often away, and the heavy lifting was left to me. My brother-in-law is 19 now and comes and goes as if our house is his personal hotel. He doesn’t pay rent and spends all his money on weed.

Our toddler sleeps in a nook in our room. I think it is ridiculous. We have another room that isn’t even occupied half the time, and most nights my brother-in-law is gone. I found out I was pregnant again. I put my foot down and told my husband we can’t live like this. It’s high time that his brother grow the hell up and get out of our house. We have a growing family, and our child deserves a real room.

His brother exploded when we told him he needed to move out. He said he didn’t have “anywhere to go” and we didn’t have the “right” to have another baby and push him out. I told him he was a selfish prick who doesn’t get a veto over us having another baby. Since then, he has been doubling down on his awful behavior—leaving messes, refusing to help with bills, and generally acting like an ass. My husband keeps “talking” to his brother, but nothing changes. This pregnancy has been awful for me. I don’t need any more stress. I want to get a room set up for our toddler and the rest of the house ready for the baby. I am this close to just packing up and moving back in with my parents. Help!

Re: Ultimatum time with H, imo

  • I would leave now. 

    But again, WhyTF did you have a second kid without resolving this? 
  • Whatever messes the BIL leaves, should be scooped up and thrown on his bed.  Or thrown in the trash if it is something he might want again.

    Even better, it sounds like he can live with his mom.  Pack all his stuff up.  Move it there.  Then change all the locks.

    Though if there is any chance he might be litigious, they should look up the eviction process for a lodger then proceed with it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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