There's a limit to what you can do, but try!

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My mother is barely 50 and refuses to wear her glasses. She will not physically text and instead uses speech-to-text. Most of her texts come out in a word salad that can’t be deciphered. I usually end up calling her for clarification or ignoring the texts altogether. Then she gets mad because she wanted me to pick up peanut butter and I have to ask what “peans udders” are.

I am starting to get seriously worried because she still drives but can’t read even the aisle signs at the grocery store. She has already had three fender benders this fall and blamed them all on road conditions. We were lucky another car wasn’t involved in any of them. My mom claims I am overreacting and she isn’t that old yet, but she can’t even text me in basic English because she can’t see the screen. Help!

VarunaTT

IDK, but she's going to get the pants sued off of her if she's in an accident and this is found out.  

levioosa

I don't have patience for this nonsense so I'd tell her that I was reporting her to the DMV unless she got some glasses and started wearing them while driving. You want to strain your eyes and get headaches at home? Cool, your prerogative I guess. But driving unsafely? Nope. And if she's that vain, just wear contacts ffs. 

banana468

Yeah - I would be real clear that I wasn't going to trust her behind the wheel, will tell everyone I know not to get into a car where she's driving and that she's a danger on the road.   THREE accidents in a year? If there are police reports her insurance company is going to drop her like a bad habit and any future company that will take her on will charge through the roof.  

I'd be clear here: she isn't trustworthy.  It's not about knowing what she wants at the store.  She's making decisions that are risky to her health and finances.  If you aren't already privy to them I'd look deeper and would consider pushing to go with her to the doctor to see if there aren't cognition issues present. 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

Yeah - I would be real clear that I wasn't going to trust her behind the wheel, will tell everyone I know not to get into a car where she's driving and that she's a danger on the road.   THREE accidents in a year? If there are police reports her insurance company is going to drop her like a bad habit and any future company that will take her on will charge through the roof.  

I'd be clear here: she isn't trustworthy.  It's not about knowing what she wants at the store.  She's making decisions that are risky to her health and finances.  If you aren't already privy to them I'd look deeper and would consider pushing to go with her to the doctor to see if there aren't cognition issues present. 

I had this happen to an older friend of mine when I was in my 30s.  She wasn't even that old (late 50s) and glasses weren't the issue.  But she just didn't have the attention span or reflexes to drive well anymore.

She had two minor at-fault accidents in one year and her insurance went through the roof at renewal.

banana468

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

Yeah - I would be real clear that I wasn't going to trust her behind the wheel, will tell everyone I know not to get into a car where she's driving and that she's a danger on the road.   THREE accidents in a year? If there are police reports her insurance company is going to drop her like a bad habit and any future company that will take her on will charge through the roof.  

I'd be clear here: she isn't trustworthy.  It's not about knowing what she wants at the store.  She's making decisions that are risky to her health and finances.  If you aren't already privy to them I'd look deeper and would consider pushing to go with her to the doctor to see if there aren't cognition issues present. 

I had this happen to an older friend of mine when I was in my 30s.  She wasn't even that old (late 50s) and glasses weren't the issue.  But she just didn't have the attention span or reflexes to drive well anymore.

She had two minor at-fault accidents in one year and her insurance went through the roof at renewal.

Right! At some point even if there are no accident reports it's going to catch up with her.  

But there comes a point where you also have tough love with people who should flat out not be driving because they're a danger to themselves and others.