Dear Prudence,
My partner and I have been really close with “Chris and Jamie” for several years now. We’re all in our mid-30s in a smallish town and have become each other’s go-to people. We hang out about once a week, go to the gym together, and travel together a few times a year. I actually didn’t really like Chris at first, I found him arrogant and self-absorbed, but really liked Jamie and figured I could deal with him. At some point, something clicked and the four of us all got really close and became very fond of each other. He and I do really have a lot in common and have similar temperaments in a lot of ways.
Lately though, I’ve been extremely irritated with Chris—his arrogance is resurfacing and it’s been hard to have a conversation with him that he doesn’t take over. Here’s an example: He and I have both worked in the events industry in very different ways, myself in weddings and him in music festivals. Last night, I was explaining that I’m going after a job as a venue manager at a new place in town and he jumped right into explaining to me “what I need to do to be a good wedding coordinator,” a job I currently have … a job he has never had. He’s back to not really listening, just looking for opportunities to be a know-it-all.
Of course, I encounter annoying men like this every day and just move on, but Chris does have other redeeming qualities and I want to continue our close friendship as a group. How do I gently push back on someone I care about who temporarily forgets other people in the room know stuff too? I swear he dropped this behavior for like two years there as we were getting to know each other, and I can’t figure out why it’s back.