You already said everything?

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I recently gave a kitten from my cat’s litter to a family friend, Pam. When I checked in to see how the kitten was doing, Pam informed me, very matter-of-factly, that the kitten had died of “fading kitten syndrome.” She spoke as if it were some inevitable outcome and not something preventable with proper care.

I’m struggling with this. I made sure these kittens were healthy and well cared for before rehoming them. I understand that not every animal survives, but it’s hard to accept that this particular kitten didn’t stand a chance when he was thriving under my care. If there was a medical issue, why didn’t Pam take him to a vet? Did she do everything possible to help him, or did she just let nature “take its course”? When I expressed how upset I was, I said I wouldn’t have entrusted her with the kitten if I’d known she wasn’t capable of taking care of it. She seemed offended by that, as though I shouldn’t have any feelings about what happened to a life I brought into this world.

I’m not trying to be cruel, but I feel strongly about this. Life is precious, and I don’t believe in consoling myself with ideas of fate or inevitability. I want to say something to her that conveys how much this has shaken me without making things worse. What would be the right thing to say?

banana468

You don't have a lot of evidence there to support your claim.  So what you did is express your displeasure and now, do not give her any more kittens. 

levioosa

I seriously doubt FKS as the cause of the kitten's death. That's usually a thing when they're very very small and LW doesn't seem like the type to give a kitten to someone when it's still bottle fed and under 8-10 weeks old. That being said, now you know a lot more about Pam and you can distance yourself accordingly. I personally wouldn't be able to keep close with her. I certainly wouldn't give her any more animals. But you've said your peace.