Same budget in 2025 as sisters who got married 10+ years ago

knottiecd355e8290eca109

I will admit I am very thankful that my parents are going to be able to financially pay for my wedding because I know that’s not something every break gets. That being said I was given the same budget as my sister’s one got married in 2009 and the other in 2015. My mom‘s trying to be involved with all the money but not sure how everything is so expensive because we’ve cut a lot that we did for my sisters for example, my sisters had 300+ people we have 250. We got cheaper flowers and decor and obviously with inflation. The same budget isn’t adding up. Am I rude and asking for more to get the same type of wedding My sister got due to inflation or should I be expected to pay out of my pocket even though my sisters didn’t need to based on the timeframe of getting married

maine7mob

Yes, it would be rude. Your parents are probably thinking, we'll give each daughter $25K (or whatever) for their wedding. They are likely not thinking, we'll cover the cost of each wedding. In their minds, they treated each daughter equally.

If I were you, I'd just have a smaller wedding or chip in money of my own.

MyNameIsNot

knottiecd355e8290eca109 said:

I will admit I am very thankful that my parents are going to be able to financially pay for my wedding because I know that’s not something every break gets. That being said I was given the same budget as my sister’s one got married in 2009 and the other in 2015. My mom‘s trying to be involved with all the money but not sure how everything is so expensive because we’ve cut a lot that we did for my sisters for example, my sisters had 300+ people we have 250. We got cheaper flowers and decor and obviously with inflation. The same budget isn’t adding up. Am I rude and asking for more to get the same type of wedding My sister got due to inflation or should I be expected to pay out of my pocket even though my sisters didn’t need to based on the timeframe of getting married

Yes, it would be inappropriate to ask for more. You're an adult. If you want more than what they're generously offering, you pick up the tab. 

banana468

I don't think you can outright ask for more $.  But what you can do is create a realistic budget and outline with the money you know you have.  Look at the venues and the florists and the food costs etc and see how far that gets you.  

Then figure out where money needs to come from if you come up short.  Your parents are likely trying to be as equal as possible however it's also going to be something you work with so they understand that they cannot dictate how the money is spent and expect exactly the same outcome over a decade later.   Hopefully that is also something that they're understanding.

Years ago before I was married my parents were starting to attend weddings and my dad thought that the cost per head was half of what it was.  People told him at the time he spitballed a number that he was grossly underestimating.

In this scenario figure out what you're needing and is it guests or the venue.  If it's the venue then figure out what you can host with the $ your parents and you have.  If it's the opposite then figure out what you can can afford with the # of guests that you have. 

MesmrEwe

As others have said, yes to it being inappropriate to ask for more money! 

That said, having the conversation that the expectations need to be kept in check that the same pile of money isn't going to afford you the same "level" of wedding and reception that your siblings had is however okay because prices have skyrocketed since the siblings got married!  A $500 reception hall in 2015 is now $5000-15,000 for the same space plus they've hiked the minimums on things like food and beverage!  The discussion that they need to keep expectations in check that you simply can't invite the 250 you want to so there must be cuts either in a cheaper venue (KC, Lion's Club, Elk's Club, Community Center, etc. Halls), turning your wedding and reception into a non-meal time with cake & punch reception after the ceremony, or the meal needs to be simpler (Sandwich/2-piece chicken/pizza/deli buffet type and cake) or the guest list needs to be cut to a level that is sustainable with your budget without going into debt.  It makes the discussions when the people who "I didn't get an invite to (B&G) wedding!" easier if the list ultimately needs to be cut because everyone understands just how much the cost of basic necessities has gotten!