Don't invite them

Casadena

My wife and I recently bought a house, and I would like to have a housewarming party and invite my co-workers. The problem is there is one co-worker that I don’t like and would not want to invite. But I feel conflicted inviting other co-workers knowing that word might get around to the one who did not get invited. Surely, they would ask why they did not get invited. I don’t want to invite them because they came up with a nickname for my name that I told them to stop calling me, and they sometimes call me that nickname out the blue. So should I just not invite any of my co-workers to my housewarming, or invite who I want? If the uninvited co-worker finds out and ask why they did not receive an invitation should I tell them the truth, or come up with an excuse?

—Conflicted Homeowner

banana468

Keep your party limited to people you are friends with.  Don't mix business and pleasure. 

VarunaTT

OP sounds young.  I invite co-workers I enjoy often.  Realistically, it's been 3 people over the years.  My co-workers have never said anything to anyone else about being invited -- that's just keeping professional and personal separated.  If you're worried, you might mention it to the co-workers you are inviting.

My one thought in opposition is if you're inviting 9/10 co-workers, it's going to be an issue, so then I wouldn't invite any co-workers.

Also, this is the dumbest reason alive to not invite someone.  It sounds like they stopped doing the thing, but sometimes slip up.  You can simply remind them.  I have a friend we all called Dave, introduced as Dave, etc. -- he finally told us, after years he wanted to be called David.  None of us ever knew and we all made the switch; sometimes we still slipped up and just immediately corrected ourselves and moved on.

ei34

I would invite any co-workers who you socialize with outside of work, who have crossed the line from coworker to friend.  There are 100ish teachers at my school, and although I enjoy a friendly relationship with most, I have 4-5 who fit this category.  It's normal for it to not be everybody.

Exception like varuna said, if this is a small work environment and that would mean inviting 9 out of 10 people, I'd bite the bullet and invite the co-worker in question.  (This was an Office episode, right? Michael ended up crashing Jim's housewarming anyway?)

banana468

Yes - my thought is when the LW is thinking of limiting it to only 9/10 of the department where the omittance is clearly visible. 

MyNameIsNot

If you don't regularly hang out with them outside of work, they don't need to be at your housewarming party.

If you do regularly hang out with them outside of work, you've already figured out how to navigate the one you don't like, but the chances of hanging out regularly with 9/10 coworkers are 0.