Dear Prudence,
My brother had a brief starter marriage to “Jill” over 15 years ago. They were college sweethearts and found themselves as very different people in their mid-20s. The divorce was as amicable as possible. I lost touch with Jill until recently. We found out we both moved to the same city and ended up striking up a real friendship (which is very hard when you are in your 40s). I have never married. Jill got her second divorce three years ago and has no kids. Neither of us is gay but we find comfort and companionship in each other and have traveled together several times.
I posted pictures from our trips on social media and didn’t think anything about it. My brother knew about Jill and only told me to tell her hello and wish her well. I never expected his wife, “Hannah,” to have a problem. Hannah has always been high strung and we have never been close.
Last year, I had a friendsgiving with Jill and a few colleagues. I spent Christmas with my parents, my brother, and Hannah. Hannah made a point to bring up Jill as much as possible and how “bizarre” it was that we were friends and spending all this time together. She mentioned that I never even tried to travel with her over the years. I reminded Hannah that she loudly and constantly talks about how much she hates to travel and frankly, her obsessing over my friendship with Jill was weird. My brother and Jill were divorced for over five years before he even met Hannah. The holiday ended on a sour note.
Hannah continued to make weird and off-putting comments on my social media and I ended up blocking her. My brother called me to complain about that and I told him I didn’t have a problem, his wife did. I ended up blocking him as well. I haven’t told Jill and we have several trips planned this year including going to Hawaii with a few other friends. What should I say, if anything? What do I do about my family? It feels weird that I have to censor talking about my vacation plans like this.
—Travel Troubles