Hump Day

ei34

How's everyone today?

ei34

One of my childhood friends, who worked for the FDA for the last 16 years, was fired along with her entire department early yesterday.  Had zero to do with length of service or merit, simply the entire branch was let go.  Their badges wouldn't even scan into the building at 8am so they could get their personal belongings from their desks (the email was sent at 5:30).  I'm sickened and heartbroken for her personally and, of course, our country.  I know we all are, just venting.

Have a few CSE meetings at work today.  Both DDs made the championship swim team, they're super excited, but it means lots of swim practice coming up (the county champ meet is next Tuesday).  The first is tonight so there's a bit of extra coordinating as far getting the usual things done, but it'll all work out.

banana468

@ei34 I'm so sorry for your friend.

I'm trying to be a positive person in the house but I have so little positive outlook on the direction that current leadership is taking the country with their goals or HOW their directing the country with their ineptitude.  It's an awful combination.

I had a brief discussion of literally a minute with Chiquita on it over the weekend where she asked honestly, "Do you think (DH's parents) voted for Trump?  Even knowing how what he wants affects me?"  And she just sat quietly having a hard time to parse together that people who love her literally voted against her best interests.  And for the sake of my husband who really hates conflict in general and whose anxiety is through the roof - I'm biting my tongue.  

I was supposed to have book club tonight but it's cancelled as the hostess has the flu.  It works out because I'm not finished, DH slept poorly again (like, panic attack in the middle of the night, didn't fall back asleep for a while and woke up to CHiquita's alarm and couldn't fall back asleep exhausted).  So I can help tag team the kid activities that run til 9 tonight...and maybe finish the book.

I'm also subbing for masses this weekend so I need to learn the music and maybe will have the time to do that later. 

Casadena

4 hours of meetings today and it's super warm and stormy - so perfect tornado weather. Hopefully non in our area or the boy swill be beside themselves at school. N was up like 5 times last night, so i was up 5+ times last night. Always takes a while to settle after vacation where we sleep in the same room altogether. He gets a bit nervous that there's no grown up in his room.

Otherwise SSDD


Just venting to get it out: TLDR; H feels he "does everything" at home (no) and blames me for his depression

H got mad at me this morning because apparently he thinks that he "does everything" at home and has to stop his work at home frequently to do things around the house and how it's not fair and now he's behind at work because I "never help". And I obviously don't care about how unfair that is or how it affects his mental health and how I don't care about changing anything and how i'm happy to push off responsibility for making him feel this way as long as his mental health gets "fixed" . I'm so annoyed at the outbursts. Totally fine and normal to want to have a conversation about splitting duties at home or wanting to shift them. I just cannot handle the pattern of everything is totally fine and then he blows up about something small. He's been way better with his outubursts around/at the kids lately which is the more important thing, but omg this is fucking exhausting. 

CharmedPam

I’m sorry you’re going through that, @Casadena, hopefully you can show him that’s not the case and show him the light.
That poor girl @banana468, to know family members voted on that. Maybe explain that there really ARE more non Trumpers out there - they just failed to vote last year, and that’s why we are where we are. 

@ei34 that sucks for your friend. And to do it like they did. Ugh!

Yesterday I made a better attempt of utilizing my living room vs. my bedroom. I have to live in my living room and sleep in my bedroom not live in the bedroom (but it really rocks, ya’ll). It probably has to do with my uncomfortable couch. I think I need to go couch shopping and get something I really like. Although I sat in my lounge chairs (which I never really do) and used the massager and then re-liked that. So I have some time to think this through.

charlotte989875

Are we married to the same person @Casadena? Because H does this too- not so much outbursts but visible, palpable frustration like we all did something to him. I’ll ask if he’s okay and he says “no, but whatever” and I have to pry then he proceeds to tell me about how terrible everything is and it’s all everyone else’s (mainly, my) fault that toys aren’t picked up, or that he “hasn’t left the house” or hasn’t gotten to work or hasn’t seen his friends. So yah I feel you. 

Casadena

@charlotte989875 we must be!! Sounds so similar and I just truly don't get where it's coming from a lot of the time. I'm so sorry you're dealing with it too - it's obvious from your posting here that your a kind and thoughtful mom and partner. 

VarunaTT

Oof ladies, it feels like we're all coming through it.  I'm very sorry.  We need a WW escape pad, seriously.  Let's bring back our old huts.  They were originally to protect those of us from the baby-making virus...now they can be to protect us from **waves arms around wildly** this.  I've got Oreo Cakesters, a PS5, F1TV, and some great NA wine in mine.

I tried to put a boundary on a very good friend.  I felt like we were having a small tiff, b/c she disagreed with it.  Yesterday, she escalated the tiff into unacceptable territory and it has blown up, badly.  I've told her that I'm taking a "friend break", that I was blocking her b/c I didn't want to speak with her or see messages from her, and that I would reach out when I was ready.  My heart is heavy and it hurts.  I've also promised myself that after what I went through with K, I would never again follow someone into the pits of mental illness or allow myself to be treated terribly b/c of someone's mental illness.  I've told myself I will re-evaluate after a week to see how I feel about all of it and if I've figured out what I even want to do.  Varuna of even a year ago, would've said, "BET" to what she said to me and carved her out of my life.  I don't really want to do that.  This is a friend from college, so 20+ years and I love her.  I've also reached my limits and my boundaries of what I can, and will, offer.  Even though I know I'm making the right moves, I feel so selfish.

I bought my boxes for moving yesterday.  Had a little moment.  It feels like such an end to a chapter of my life, to be leaving this space.  I've grown so much, struggled, lost, won, and had so much happen in this space.  I know I'm making the right decision for my, and my mom's future, and I'm still grieving making it and the necessity of making it (the necessity not just for my mom's health, but the state of this fvcking administration and protecting us both).

Big hugs to everyone who needs it.

CharmedPam

I’m in @VarunaTT! If I can bring some A wine lol!
I love that you acknowledged the reason they were treating you bad and set those boundaries.  It’s hard to do. I dated someone who was diagnosed as depressed and I always tried to use that reason for some of the stuff he did and said. 

VarunaTT

CharmedPam said:

I’m in @VarunaTT! If I can bring some A wine lo!

I love that you acknowledged the reason they were treating you bad and set those boundaries.  It’s hard to do. I dated someone who was diagnosed as depressed and I always tried to use that reason for some of the stuff he did and said. 

Totally fine with me!  Others drinking alcohol doesn't bother me.

also, IDK why "a wine" is cracking me up.  The sober community term I see for it that I like is "leaded" (alcoholic) vs. "unleaded" (NA).