Tired Tuesday

ei34

How's everyone today?  It has been so rainy and dreary here these past few days.

ei34

@levioosa how'd it go this weekend with your friend?  The situation sounded really frustrating, I hope you're okay

Was at the kids' school pretty early setting up their teachers' special breakfast today- it's Teacher Appreciation Week and each day our PTA has a different theme, all super nice, I'm sending items in for the other days but a breakfast is the only one I can help set up for, since it had to be completed by 7:45.  (I'm supposed to be at my own school by 7:30 but took a teeny bit of personal time and arrived at 8.)  
Otherwise just keeping my fingers crossed that the DDs softball practice this evening is canceled - and that the coach doesn't arrange a session at the local batting cage in its place, as he's done before.  They played a game in the pouring rain on Sunday...the parents were all joking/complaining that the Mets don't play in this weather, why is a 10u rec league team?!

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CharmedPam

Hopefully it’s not a batting cage night @ei34, not fair to have them play in the rain!
happy day after the MET gala! It’s funny because all my family could talk about yesterday was how the jets beat St. Louis in their playoff round and I’m like “i hear the nba is also in the playoffs. I dunno. I just hope both teams have fun. Go sports! I DO know the met gala is tonight though”.
Gigi killed it! Loved hers the most. Kylie Jenner’s was actually pretty classy but Kim’s was just meh for Kim K.

I recently put up a FB dating profile. Last year I did too and someone I dated in 2022 “liked” me and contacted me. I just said “glad everything’s good with you” and left it at that. Cut to this year, he liked me again.  Our issue was his drinking with us. He kept on canceling on me because he got so drunk he couldn’t leave his house. He lied about having to stay home (I think the lie wasn’t a vindictive lie, it was to tell me he was with his daughter when he wasn’t. I think it was a depression lie or one to make him look like a good dad when he’s not).  This time his profile said he doesn’t drink anymore. I did reach out to congratulate him on sobriety and asked how long. Almost 1 1/2 years. He realized drinking made him a pos (his words) and he’s much happier and even gets to see his daughter alot now. I stalked his baby momma and she actually was on a plane with her daughter over Tgiving to take her to see his side of the family. So that checks out. Last time I stalked her, she hated him.
He also apologized for treating me bad and suggested catching up. We exchanged #’s again. The guy was nothing but nice to me, we got along great and I find him really attractive. I told my friend he reached out (not that we started talking again) and she’s like “he’s not the right one for you. He didn’t change. They don’t change”. But how does she know? Can people change for the better after a situation like this? I know 1.5 years is still not a long time but I DO believe in second chances and I kinda want to see if he HAS changed, even though i’m probably playing with fire here.
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Casadena

@CharmedPam I would totally give him another chance if the major issues was drinking and that seems to be out of the way at this point! 

@ei34 fingers crossed for you for no batting cages!

Casadena

Work is thankfully quiet this week, although I probably just jinxed myself. N is still not feeling awesome. His teacher stopped me this morning and said he was having some trouble catching his breath and deep breathing while he was playing yesterday. He has also been beside himself crabby the last couple days. So probably back to the doctor tomorrow just to check. 

I need a few spring tops. I always hate the changing of seasons because I swear I forget how to dress every time and then i'm uncomfy bc I don't like my outfits. Looking around at lunch today when i run a couple errands!

H is making me so mad this week. I am running out of ideas and patience for support. Kind of venting below, feel free to skip, lol.

He loses his mind over tiny things because he's stressed at work and he cannot compartmentalize. And then it's my fault for suggesting he take this job 2 years ago after he was off work with G for 7 months and applied for ZERO jobs in that time frame - obviously all I care about it money and not his mental health. I don't know how to respond to that. I've told him I am very fine with him quitting this job and focusing on finding something else. He won't do that, which...ok fine. Then deal with your shit and stop blowing up on me and the kids about it (not a statement I made to him, i'm trying to be nicer and more supportive, but omg) I don't know what else to do at this point. 

banana468

@ei34 I'm grateful Chiquito's game was canceled yesterday.  It was GROSS and we would have been MISERABLE.  Plus my washing mashine just died and DH ordered parts to get it back on life support.  I would have been hand washing muddy clothing which I may have to do tomorrow but...one day at a time please?

Chiquita was Confirmed Saturday and we had the family back at the house.  The weather was great and people were on great behavior.   Sad to see BIL and SIL and the kids head out for such a short visit but it was really nice to see them while we could.

I'm in a quandry with a job offer that I think I need to turn down.  It requires more travel than I think I can do and I don't think it's fair to the home with the kid requirements and DH still not feeling great.  It's a week of upheaval and my stress is high but I will work through it.   

VarunaTT

I loved most of the Met gala.  Teyana, Diana Ross, Angela Bassett, Tess Thompson, Doecchi (though I didn't like the face branding) Cardi B, and Jodie Turner Smith were amazing.  I thought Zendaya was chic, elegant, and lovely, and not the Met gala at all.  It was boring.  So was Harris' gown.  I thought Gigi Hadid and Sabrina Carpenter did a nice job of showcasing the black designer who designed the Playboy Bunny suit, I'm blanking on her name.  The Kardashians managed to not make complete assholes of themselves on the carpet, so that was good.  Riri showed out, not as much as previous years, but i enjoyed it.  Demi Moore was on FIRE....a dress that looks like a tie!  Brilliant!  I thought Hailey Berry looked terrible -- I just didn't like the dress and I was so worried about a kewchee slip, it was awful.  Halle Bailey looked great!  Chappell Roan understood the assignment and I was so proud of her.  Hamilton looked hot as all get out.

Another day, another dollar.  Nothing too much going on.  I have to go to a store tonight to buy new nose piercing jewelry.  The top of mine fell off so I just had the post sticking out.  I think I'll see about a hoop this time.  Otherwise, SSDD.

ETA:  @CharmedPam I can tell you that after a year of sobriety, I'm almost an entirely new person for a load of reasons.  I wouldn't be scared to date someone with that much under their belt.  Some people relapse and it can happen any time.  It's not more likely to happen or not, based on time.  It's about how the person is dealing with life, sans alcohol.  It's far too individually based to make blanket statements about "they never change".  Alcoholics aren't that way b/c they're weak, they're that way b/c their bodies respond to alcohol exactly how alcohol intends them too -- wanting more.  It's no different than sugar, weed, or exercise or anything to excess to an addiction level. Humans can get addicted to literally anything, I think.  Just some addictions don't carry a stigma.

CharmedPam

How frustrating @casadena, I’m sorry he’s making you feel that way. But you get to go clothing shopping at least? Yay

VarunaTT said:

I loved most of the Met gala.  Teyana, Diana Ross, Angela Bassett, Tess Thompson, Doecchi (though I didn't like the face branding) Cardi B, and Jodie Turner Smith were amazing.  I thought Zendaya was chic, elegant, and lovely, and not the Met gala at all.  It was boring.  So was Harris' gown.  I thought Gigi Hadid and Sabrina Carpenter did a nice job of showcasing the black designer who designed the Playboy Bunny suit, I'm blanking on her name.  The Kardashians managed to not make complete assholes of themselves on the carpet, so that was good.  Riri showed out, not as much as previous years, but i enjoyed it.  Demi Moore was on FIRE....a dress that looks like a tie!  Brilliant!  I thought Hailey Berry looked terrible -- I just didn't like the dress and I was so worried about a kewchee slip, it was awful.  Halle Bailey looked great!  Chappell Roan understood the assignment and I was so proud of her.  Hamilton looked hot as all get out.

I still get these two people mixed up just by reading their names. I was like “you just said she looked terrible! Now great? Make up your mind!”  Now, I gotta go google some dresses. 

Edit; I just checked and both are Halle’s, this is why I keep getting them confused!

and thanks for the sobriety insight. I just finished dating someone who doesn’t drink (but never did) and it really was no problem for me if someone doesn’t. But it also depends on reactions near alcohol too, because I’ll enjoy a drink here and there

levioosa

Hugs @Casadena. 

I understand your trepidation @CharmedPam. If alcohol truly was the only thing, you could give it a try. But if he exhibits any of the same personality traits he had while drinking, I would then be out permanently. 

Back at work and what a weekend. I ended up seeing bff this weekend which was mostly good but I still felt kind of disappointed overall. It’s sad to see that we’re just really different people now with different values and lives. She is so deep into the wellness sphere she won’t listen to any logic or data and that’s hard on me too. I spent most of the weekend biting my tongue. I had a horrifying moment when I realized that the tea she had been making me all weekend was with raw milk. So countdown to my impending Listeria lol. It was good to see her, but life is just a trip. 

For a WW wedding snark, I was asked initially to help set up for a wedding I wasn’t invited to. I said nope. Then later we were supposed to go to dinner with some people including the bride, and bride texted us asking us to go buy something from the store (specific, we went to three separate stores to look) and we missed the dinner. Again, for a wedding I wasn’t even invited too. But I can say it was nice to see the bride anyways that evening. I haven’t seen her in years and she’s had a lot of frogs in her dating life. I don’t remember the last time I saw her glowing and healthy. 

Yesterday was long as I had therapy and then we did a long walk before I braved Costco and spent way too much money. 

VarunaTT

@CharmedPam Ha!  I mispelled the first names, b/c I was SO concentrated on getting the last names correct, I think.  

Also, **I** don't care about people drinking around me or even in my home, so he might not either.  I still don't identify as an alcoholic.  Mine was hard b/c it was one million percent tied to how I socialized and who with.  Since I'm a binger (I binge more than just alcohol if I'm being honest)...and I was hanging out at a bar with people who drink for their social lives, it was a bad mix.  Then add that I was an asshole drunk and did things I would never do while sober and it finally just made sense that I had to change.  But it ended up being an entire overhaul, b/c I lost a lot of my social scene.  Queer life is almost inescapably tied to bars and alcohol.  It still hasn't gotten to where it was, but I try a lot harder now to find events that aren't centered around alcohol.

banana468

@VarunaTT I felt like Heidi Klum's gown was boring too.  It was pretty but also could have easily been at an awards ceremony.

I officially declined the promotion and hope it wasn't a detrimental situation to my career but I need to be here more often and I won't be effective as a mother/wife if I'm not home and won' be as effective as an mgr if I'm not there.  I accept this and will deal but it's now feeling rough.

CharmedPam

levioosa said:

Then later we were supposed to go to dinner with some people including the bride, and bride texted us asking us to go buy something from the store (specific, we went to three separate stores to look) and we missed the dinner. Again, for a wedding I wasn’t even invited too. But I can say it was nice to see the bride anyways that evening. I haven’t seen her in years and she’s had a lot of frogs in her dating life. I don’t remember the last time I saw her glowing and healthy. 

This needs to be my story. I kissed enough of those. 

Did you have fun shopping over a dinner?