Hump Day

ei34

Another week of how is it only Wednesday 😝 how’s everyone?

ei34

I’m proctoring an untimed state assessment today so kind of bored, although nothing wrong with a change in pace either. 

All the Met Gala chat had me checking out outfits yesterday evening, I always forget about that event. 

Pretty busy after work between counseling and my middle schooler’s spring concert at 7. 

Casadena

G has kindergarten preview night tonight. H and I will take him to that and IL's are coming over to hang with N while we're gone. Tired this morning even though everyone slept all night with no interruptions/wakeups. So nice! 

banana468

It's finally sunny here and now the trees are basically all open.  I am hoping for no backlash now that I turned down the job and need to just continue to dig in and do my best.  I'm bummed to have turned down an opportunity for career advancement but also need to do what makes sense here.

And DH is just feeling off and I can't be out of the house 3 days a week 2x a mo when he feels terrible. 

CharmedPam

That must have been quite the decision to make @banana468, but the right one for your family. 

I ended up meeting that guy for coffee that I dated years ago. It was a cool casual convo. Not sure if there’s any romance there? He’s still fine AF but I think the alcohol gave him some liquid courage to make the moves and he didn’t last night. And I ain’t gonna. But he seems to really have changed and feels bad for wasting is life for so many years.

Some other old flame also reached out to me. He was honest with me back in 2022 when he said he just wanted to try a relationship out with someone else and I respected that. He liked me and I liked him back on FB dating and he wrote “hi how’s your week going?” And now I wonder if he even remembers me? 

Ugh this dating world is a wild and crazy one, kids. 

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ei34

Wow, kindergarten!  Go G!  And I'm sorry for all of the H frustrations @Casadena.  He's welcome to be going through bumpy work stuff but he's not allowed to make it you and the boys' fault, ugh!

It sounds like a tough decision @banana468 but also that it was the right choice for right now.  

I'm completely done @CharmedPam but I appreciate all of the field notes on the current dating world.  Just in case...no. I'm done.  Wild that two guys from your past reached this week!!

banana468

Lots of crying on my end and DH feels guilty that his health is a part of this.  But it's the reality we're in.  

VarunaTT

@CharmedPam One of my goals is changing the language around alcohol use b/c it's a drug, just like cocaine, heroin, etc (and also a class I carcinogen).  Alcohol doesn't give you courage, it removes your boundaries.  It's a chemical change, not who he is.  IDK how far you want to go with dating, but you just might ask and open the conversation.

Work is just going whole hog grinding.  I've asked around and everyone feels the same.  A lot of it is due to all of the time being dedicated to learning the new software and it's "training" season.  all of the yearly training classes are being rolled out (like compliance and stuff) and it's easy, but time consuming.

Otherwise, nothing big going on.  I'm rewatching Dexter in preparation for the new show, Resurrection, and to remind myself of things for the other new show, Original Sin.  I forget how really well done this show was.  I haven't been as impressed by the other 2 outings, so I hope Resurrection doesn't fall short.

Made a plan to see Sinners this weekend and I'm excited.  This year feels like a cultural moment of Black excellence between the Gala, Kendrick's half time show, and this movie.  I'm enjoying it immensely.

I'm so impressed @banana468 at your decision.  I can't imagine how hard it was, but I know you and your family will be better b/c of that decision.

banana468

Thanks @VarunaTT.  I'm hoping that this is not a professional issue for me in the future but I had to look at this from both lenses.  I need to be on site often to be effective and between DH's needs and the needs of the kids, that's not doable now.  I would face the possibility that he's just fatigued and can't and then I'm having to rely on friends or his parents.  Neither of those are long term solutions and he doesn't really want to loop his parents into all the things on his mind right now because they'll worry and also inundate him. 

And it's also not fair to a team of people if my answer was that they'd be on their own without me for weeks at a time.  If the kids were older I could make this doable but not now while I'm needed so often.  

I'm still feeling like I haven't absorbed it fully and am hoping that I don' face fall out.  That said - I know right now I need to be able to be present.

Jen4948

@banana468 I hope your husband is better soon and your career decision turns out to be the right one for you. @Casadena good luck to G in kindergarten!

@VarunaTT, I watched the first four seasons of Dexter and loved it until the end of season 4. Yow. I watched a couple of season 5 episodes but it kind of lost its sparkle for me at that point. I hope the new series is worth watching.

Life has been pretty quiet for me now that tax season is over which I devoutly appreciate. I need to catch up on CPE and plan some trips: two weddings this fall and hopefully, a car trip with my cousin.

I also have a family event coming up in a couple of weeks. We are dedicating my father's headstone, which is kind of a sequel to a Jewish funeral. So I have to deal with my brother and with grieving simultaneously. Stressful. Hopefully the rest of the time will make up for that. Doing some online theater and maybe some in-person theater too along with assorted other things.

short+sassy

@banana468, you made the best decision you could considering the circumstances.  I also hope it doesn't have a negative effect with your employer.  In a perfect world, it shouldn't because it's an understandable reason.  But I know it isn't always that easy.

@Jen4948, it's good to hear from you. I'm glad you're getting a break now that tax season is over. Your upcoming family event does sound emotionally wrought.  I hope it's not too bad and your brother is at least cordial and doesn't say anything upsetting.

@CharmedPam, Hopefully one of these two guys turns out to be great match for you.  They should be kicking themselves for missing their first opportunity with you!  They're lucky you're even considering a second chance.

I've reached into my dating archives for similar stories, lol.

--I had dated a guy for about a month.  Talked almost every day.  Went out at least 3x/week.  Things were heading more serious and then he suddenly ghosted me.  WTF? 

He sent me an e-mail about THREE years later apologizing for what he did.  He said he had been making some major life changes (selling his business to finish college) and realized he wasn't ready to be in a relationship.  But he'd always felt like such an AH for being a coward and not telling me what was going on.  I appreciated him reaching out.

--I was on a first date.  We had dinner at Bennigans and then went to a daquiri bar across the street.  While we were at the bar, he told me I would look good with short hair.  I said, "Thanks, but I've always had my hair long and like it that way."  He was silent while he looked at me appraisingly for 30-60 seconds.  Then had the gall to say, "No, I think you'd look better with short hair."

I was thinking, "Wow.  Insulting a woman's hair.  Does he purposely never want to have a chance with a woman?  Lol."

Oh, but wait.  About 5 months later he hit me up on a different dating site.  Did not remember me at all.  I reminded him we'd met before and described where we'd gone.  Then he remembered.  And...I kid you not...said he remembered me having shorter hair.  I didn't mention the rude comment he'd made.  Just said, "Nope, it's always been this length."  It was a good 3 minutes before I stopped laughing.

CharmedPam

Omg @short+sassy that guy with the short hair fetish sounds like a tool! Lol. And ghoster? Kinda like my situation where it’s better the true colors showed sooner rather than later.
i think with this guy who I met with may not jive socially. He told me he loves staying at home while I get stir crazy if I do. I know I need someone who likes to do things and go out. But maybe he doesn’t because he just doesn’t have the opportunity or invites to? Hang with me. I’ll get you out ‘n about.

Nice to “see” you @Jen4948, glad it’s not as hectic for you
@banana468 I meant to ask if an opportunity could come up at a later time when you’re ready? 

banana468

It's going to be situation-specific. It may come up sooner but this was a quality opportunity and the travel would have involved driving and not flying so it would have been on my timing.

We'll have to just see what unfolds.