My brother died suddenly over two years ago. I can’t imagine my parents’ grief, but my mother doesn’t seem to even be trying to move forward. I don’t expect her to “get over it,” but the real problem is that she fixates. His girlfriend cut us off from his children after he died, and my mom used to drive by the girlfriend’s house regularly; she is incensed to have learned (by seeking the information out) that the girlfriend is dating someone (over a year after my brother passed). She makes comments to me about losing her “only son,” which doesn’t feel great as one of the multiple daughters. My mom is completely lost in her grief and doesn’t even seem to want to learn to move forward in a healthy way. The truth is, I can’t go down the rabbit hole anymore. It’s hurting me, and it’s making me want to withdraw. I have two young children, and sometimes it feels like she treats my son as though he is my brother’s (non-existent) son. There’s obviously more to it—there is always more—but how do I tell my mom that I can’t discuss my brother anymore unless she gets some help with her grief?