Dear Prudence,
My husband has not been loyal. In our 20s it was sex with other people, but in our 30s and 40s it’s been emotional affairs. I found out about the physical affairs when I had a kid and no job and was trapped. I also forgave the first emotional affair, but now we’re onto the second and I’m just done. Divorce is in the works.
However, this latest woman is unlike the rest, who were single, or slept with my husband along with their boyfriend or husband, too. This one is married, trapped with small kids, and is without a well-paying job. She a husband who wants polyamory. Sounds a bit familiar to me! I think that’s why I’m so mad—this woman’s experiences are the exact same as mine and she still had the gall to develop a relationship with my husband behind my back. My husband has said she struggled because she knew it was wrong but didn’t cut him off … until I found out about her, added her on social media, and she freaked out that I would tell her husband.
I am dealing with my husband but I think her husband also deserves to know. Her husband never cheated (per se) on her—he was open and honest about what he wanted and she even met his girlfriend several times. She is lying to him now. I feel like she shouldn’t get away with it. Ethically, do I tell him?