Dear Prudence,
My wife, “Melissa” did something that left me shocked when we went out to an expensive restaurant during a recent trip to a major city. Toward the end of the meal, she was finishing the last of the food on her plate.
When she picked up a forkful, a huge, dead roach was revealed to be beneath it. She began screaming, and people stared; the waiter came over, and she showed him what she’d found. Melissa whipped out her phone and filmed what was on the plate. The manager came over. Melissa demanded to know, “What the hell was the meaning of this?” and said she was going to report it to the health department. They apologized profusely and said we wouldn’t have to pay. Melissa said, “Damn right,” and led me from the restaurant.
Back at the hotel, I asked my wife if she was OK. Melissa said never better—she’d saved us from having to pay a nearly $300 restaurant bill. I was confused and asked her what she was talking about. She said she’d brought the roach with her and snuck it onto her plate right before she picked up the fateful forkful. She even suggested pulling this the next time we dine out when we’re out of town! Now I am terrified Melissa will do this again. Other than refusing to ever go to another restaurant with her, what the hell can I do?
—Horrified Husband