Dear Prudence,
I know you’re going to tell me to “butt out,” but this situation is really bumming me out, and I guess I just really want to check if it’s none of my business. My husband’s parents had a love story for the ages, and his family talks about his father like he was a saint (he died before I met hubs). His mother was recently moved into an assisted living facility for end-of-life care and we visit as often as we can. Apparently, she met a man in the facility and they want to have a relationship for whatever time they have left. Hubs and his brothers are so up in arms about this that his mom agreed to not see her paramour anymore.
I think this is unfair to his mom. She connected with someone in the same stage as life with her and wants love and companionship in their last days—what’s wrong with that? She’s been single for 23 years, and she seemed excited to tell us until her kids shut her down. Finding something that brings her joy and hope seems like the best possible scenario. But it genuinely breaks hub’s heart and is causing him distress, when he’s already facing the end of her life. And she’s not my mom. I asked him how it would make him feel if she kept her companion for her last days, and he got so upset we had to take a break, and I had to help him calm down. I haven’t pressed further, but I can’t help but feel like he’s wrong and his mom is allowed to have a relationship if she wants one. Do I say anything?