The sudden insistence is super concerning

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My wife recently attended her 30-year high school reunion and came home practically in tears.

When I asked what was wrong, she said the first thing she noticed was how old she looked compared to nearly all of her female former classmates. Now she is obsessed with getting plastic surgery. My assurances that I think she will always be the sexiest woman I’ve ever met and pointing out that it’s very possible that her former classmates went under the knife themselves fall on deaf ears. Among the procedures she wants are a breast augmentation, a facelift, and blepharoplasty. Should I try to dissuade her from going through with this?

MyNameIsNot

That's a lot at once, but maybe a facelift isn't the worst thing ever. Can you suggest she try botox as a baby step before going all the way? Maybe a little boost will be enough.

banana468

Instead of jumping immediately to plastic surgery can you talk to her about what she sees as concerning and talk her through the non invasive ways that she may see results?

Sure there may be 48 year olds that are nipped and tucked perfectly or they all showed up with really good undergarments and great dermatologists and hair stylists. 

Also, how often is she seeing these people??  I'd look into therapy as well if there's a goal to try to impress those you see once every 10 years. 

charlotte989875

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

I mean, my OBGYN told me his wife had a boob job but it was because after years of breastfeeding they were dangling like bananas.   My hairstylist has had botox but I don't know anyone who had plastic surgery and talked about it who didn't need to do so due to a mastectomy.

Also, maybe it's just my stress level but I don't have the bandwidth of time for the surgery and its recovery.  More power to those who are my age who can squeeze that in. 

levioosa

charlotte989875 said:

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

I mean, my OBGYN told me his wife had a boob job but it was because after years of breastfeeding they were dangling like bananas.   My hairstylist has had botox but I don't know anyone who had plastic surgery and talked about it who didn't need to do so due to a mastectomy.

Also, maybe it's just my stress level but I don't have the bandwidth of time for the surgery and its recovery.  More power to those who are my age who can squeeze that in. 

*Pulls @CharmedPam with me into the bushes* lol 

But for real I don't have kids and that's pretty much where my disposable income goes. I would love to get a mommy makeover and a neck lift but I simply don't have the money. But if I did I'm pretty sure I'd go ahead and do it. No shame to anyone in either direction. Natural is cool. Surgery is fine. Everyone gets to make their own choices and barring unethical body dysmorphic surgeries (like the woman whose injector will give her a mL of filler ever 3-6 weeks), you do you. 

charlotte989875

levioosa said:

charlotte989875 said:

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

Is everyone out here just getting plastic surgery all the time? I was at a 40th birthday party and women (who I know and who are GORGEOUS) talking about how they’ve got their boobs done, who wants a mommy makeover (tummy tuck, boob lift and/or implants), breast reductions or enhancements, everyone’s Botox schedule. It was eye opening! 

That said- figure out how serious she is, what’s driving it, and if there’s a partial measure she’d like to try first. 

I mean, my OBGYN told me his wife had a boob job but it was because after years of breastfeeding they were dangling like bananas.   My hairstylist has had botox but I don't know anyone who had plastic surgery and talked about it who didn't need to do so due to a mastectomy.

Also, maybe it's just my stress level but I don't have the bandwidth of time for the surgery and its recovery.  More power to those who are my age who can squeeze that in. 

*Pulls @CharmedPam with me into the bushes* lol 

But for real I don't have kids and that's pretty much where my disposable income goes. I would love to get a mommy makeover and a neck lift but I simply don't have the money. But if I did I'm pretty sure I'd go ahead and do it. No shame to anyone in either direction. Natural is cool. Surgery is fine. Everyone gets to make their own choices and barring unethical body dysmorphic surgeries (like the woman whose injector will give her a mL of filler ever 3-6 weeks), you do you. 

Definitely no judgement here! Honestly I’d love a mommy makeover after years of breastfeeding these girls are looking rough. And the shelf from two csections, one that didn’t heal properly, sucks. I guess I just didn’t realize how common it is now!