Next time get up and leave

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My in-laws cannot stand one another. They bicker constantly and couldn’t care less as to who witnesses it. Why they have not divorced is a mystery; my husband says it’s been this way his entire life. Each time they visit or there’s a special occasion, the event is marred by some inevitable blowup over a triviality—a shouting match recently ensued between them at a Golden Corral because my mother-in-law thought her husband was using too much ketchup. I want to draw the line and tell them if they can’t behave like adults instead of two petulant toddlers, they can forget about any more invitations or visits. My husband is against this and tells me to “just ignore it.” Am I so wrong to not want to have every get-together devolve into a near-throwdown?

MyNameIsNot

It's not your place to call out his parents, but I would absolutely never go out in public with them again and would start leaving the room when they do this at home.

banana468

Somewhere between H's ' do nothing' and the wife's mandate there's a possible change here.

But you CAN tell your H, "Look I respect that you  have dealt with this for years but it ends when I'm in a position that I'm publicly seated at the same table in a restaurant for all eyes to be on us for yet another tantrum.  "  

There's a difference between bickering and also not knowing how to behave.

That said, my MIL doesn't know that I won' be engaging with her during public events after she recently yelled at a local state congressman because she didn't like his public support for a controversial bill.  I even agreed with her stance but absolutely will not put myself in a position where I'm associated as the part of a public nuisance.