Stop storing the boat

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

Last summer, my wife’s sister and her husband bought their “dream” vacation condo with a private dock on a lake near where we live. They also bought a boat that they asked if they could store in a building at our acreage over the winter (we didn’t charge them storage), and I also had to use my pickup to get their boat/trailer from the lake, to my acreage, and back this spring. Apparently for free because they never even offered to take us out for dinner for doing this. The trailer is sitting at my place right now. They live about three hours away and visit every few weeks.

Last week, some of my grandkids were visiting and wanted to go fishing. I texted my brother-in-law and asked if we could fish off their dock. He responded back with a somewhat generic/standardized text saying that “we have had a lot of inquiries about using the condo when they are not there, and unfortunately we bought the condo for our use, not as a vacation retreat for other people. If you would like to use a condo on a lake, I would suggest to do like we did and buy one or rent one.”

So, do I text my BIL now, or this fall when he asks about me getting and storing his boat and trailer at my place, and say “Sorry, we purchased our acreage for the storage of our items and not for storage of other people’s stuff. My pickup was purchased for towing of items I need towed, not for other people’s trailers. I would suggest that if you need something stored it is to buy or rent your own storage unit and a pickup to pull your trailer.”? Needless to say, I am a little put off by what I did for him for free, and I can’t even use his dock to take my grandkids fishing.

MyNameIsNot

I wouldn't be that passive aggressive about it, but if they ask to store the boat again I'd just say you can't this year and leave it. 

banana468

FFS, handle that with your sister to start.

Talk to her first.  Mention that you texted her H and say that you were inquiring about using the dock at their place to fish with their kids, state what was her H's response and mention how you feel.   Something like "I can't help but feel like this response overlooks the time and storage that we're providing and has the appearance of treating us like people who didn't assume cost and do a really large favor.  The price to tow and winterize a boat plus store it for months exceeds the thousands at local places.  We certainly never thought to charge you that much but it does feel like it's going unrecognized based on the response to use your dock for fishing.  You're absolutely entitled to that response but I have to tell you that if that's truly how you BOTH feel that after your boat goes in the water next spring it won't be coming back her and we won't be assisting in towing." 

levioosa

I mean, banana's response is the more mature one but I'd be tempted to say what LW wrote lol What entitled asshats. 

banana468

levioosa said:

I mean, banana's response is the more mature one but I'd be tempted to say what LW wrote lol What entitled asshats. 

Pretty much because it's the Sis's husband I'd kind of want to let her know that in the wording she has one last opportunity to fix this before their winter storage fees just increased all because someone isn't paying attention to the rules. 

charlotte989875

I’d copy the message the BIL sent and send it to sister and ask if she’s on board with what her H said. If she agrees I’d text him back and say “we’ve had a lot of inquiries about using the storage space. We thought this for our use and not for long term storage by other people. If you want to use vehicles, storage, and trailers I suggest you buy them”. And tell him when you need the boat out by. 

VarunaTT

I had to think about this one.  B/c it strikes me as similar to lending out money.  You lend it out with no real expectation of getting it back.  Obviously, the inlaws assumed that the storage came with no strings attached (I do think they're being incredibly entitled and rude, but that's not really relevant).  LW didn't think that, they thought "hey, a great thank you dinner and/or dock privileges would be shared".  I also don't think LW is in the wrong in their expectations either.

The expectations don't meet up, so either LW needs to state they are going to charge for the pickup/storage next year or state they want dock privileges X amount of times per summer to do X activity.  If inlaws don't want to do either of those things, easy out.  If they do, everyone gets what they wanted.

short+sassy

The especially eye rolling part to me is the LW isn't even asking to use the condo.  They're asking to use the private dock to fish off of.  It's such a minor request compared to everything the LW and their wife are doing for them.