you were right to say something

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I’m a people pleaser in recovery, and after putting up for several years with my brother-in-law winking at me, squeezing in a kiss with a hug and an unwanted, “Hello, beautiful,” I said something about it—nicely. I didn’t ask for an apology, nor was I angry. I just said moving forward, I would prefer he didn’t do this. He’s mostly a nice guy, but seems stuck in the ‘70s in some ways. Now they won’t talk to me because I waited so long to say something. I don’t want to lose my sister over this. What would you suggest?

—Missing My Sis

banana468

Suggest thicker skin.

And by that I mean, continue to work on the concept that standing up for yourself may irritate people but you put yourself first.  Do not allow yourself to be manipulated or insulted because your sister is a brainwashed people pleaser too. 

short+sassy

I bet if the LW had said something in the beginning, it would have caused even more problems between her sister and BIL because she's "such an uptight bitch who can't even take a compliment".

It's easier for the sister to avoid the LW than face how demeaning her H can be to other women.  Including her own sister.

The LW shouldn't let this stop her from advocating for herself.  But unfortunately that can sometimes lead to sad situations like this one.  I think the best she can do is to keep her door open.  With time, I assume the sister will get over the incident and come around.