Dear Care and Feeding,
My brother “Nick” left his wife for another woman four years ago. He and his new wife have a son who is now 3. Nick and my former sister-in-law have a now-8-year-old son, “Toby,” whom Nick has barely seen since the divorce. After Toby expressed to me how sad he is that he’s the only one in his class at school who doesn’t have a dad, I talked to Nick to try to explain how much it would mean to Toby to have him be more involved in his life. My brother claimed that he was “strapped for time” juggling work and caring for his toddler while preparing for his wife to have twins in the fall. When I asked him if the real reason had anything to do with the fact that Toby has Down syndrome, he became evasive before finally admitting that all he wanted was a “normal” family. I haven’t spoken to him since. My question is, what do I tell my parents when they inevitably wonder why I now want nothing to do with Nick? Should I tell them what Nick said? I would never tell my nephew what his father really thinks of him, but does my former sister-in-law deserve to hear the truth?