Dear Prudence,
I’m part of a dedicated group of internet friends that has been virtually hanging out every day for years. I have an active IRL social life, but these online friends are the people I game, chill, and unwind with every night. Over a year ago, we all got together to meet in person for the first time, and I ended up hooking up with one member, “V.” Since then, we developed a cute flirtationship that has come with special attention in the regular chat and doing activities just the two of us. I developed deep feelings for them that I never shared because we’re both rooted in two different parts of the country, and I know them well enough to know that we want different things from our relationships.
A few weeks ago, V introduced their friend, “N,” to the chat, who gets along great with the group. It didn’t take long to figure out that N is V’s new girlfriend! I was heartbroken and took some time away from the group to heal, which was very lonely. I haven’t told the general group what happened because I don’t want to start drama, and they’ve all been supportive about my hiatus without prying. I told V about my feelings, and they’re understanding and sympathetic. I’ve even started getting to know N, who is a super lovely person! But hearing them flirting and gaming together like V and I used to is like a knife through my heart, while taking the space I need means sitting up at night without the warm hum of the chat. I’m trying to date in my city (which comes with its own host of frustrations), and my IRL friends are sick of hearing about this. I’m in agony and losing sleep, plus I feel so foolish about hooking up with V in the first place. Please help!
—Game Over