Tell your brother - your H sucks

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My brother and sister-in-law just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary with a big party at the restaurant my cousin owns, complete with a large cake with elaborate floral frosting decorations. When it came time for the cake to be served, it was discovered that several of the roses were missing. My niece and nephew (7 and 8, respectively) had been playing near the kitchen and were punished for pilfering the roses. On the drive home, my husband sheepishly confessed that he was the real culprit. I am thoroughly embarrassed by and furious with him. The kids didn’t get dessert and were grounded from screen time for a week. Should I let this go (with the promise from my husband that his actions will never be repeated), or force him to confess and apologize?

—Literally Took the Cake

banana468

Tell your H that he has two choices: He either confesses or you'll do it for him.

Also, tell him he's an ass.

MyNameIsNot

He confesses and the kids get a very nice treat. 

Being accused and punished for something you didn't do as a child is a big deal. The kids need to see that the adults in their lives will try to make it right when they make mistakes. 

banana468

MyNameIsNot said:

He confesses and the kids get a very nice treat. 

Being accused and punished for something you didn't do as a child is a big deal. The kids need to see that the adults in their lives will try to make it right when they make mistakes. 

That's why the H is an ass.  He was more than OK to not only ruin the dessert but to let others take the fall.  That's a massive integrity issue. 

downtondiva

Insist that your husband tell your brother and SIL the truth or that you'll tell them yourself. The kids should absolutely not be punished for something they didn't do. 

Does anyone else find it strange that a grown man would steal flowers off a cake?

charlotte989875

downtondiva said:

Insist that your husband tell your brother and SIL the truth or that you'll tell them yourself. The kids should absolutely not be punished for something they didn't do. 

Does anyone else find it strange that a grown man would steal flowers off a cake?

YUP. Really concerned about his impulse control and/ or his empathy. Both for the cake and letting the kids take the blame. Psychopath behavior. 

short+sassy

downtondiva said:

Insist that your husband tell your brother and SIL the truth or that you'll tell them yourself. The kids should absolutely not be punished for something they didn't do. 

Does anyone else find it strange that a grown man would steal flowers off a cake?

It's really bizarre.  That's why people assumed the children were guilty and no one blamed an adult.  They may not have even asked "who ate some of the flowers?".