Wedding Woes

do you want to be friends, or not?

Dear Prudence,

I’ve had a best friend for over 20 years, and she was planning a big birthday trip for me for my 36th birthday, and then just … bailed at the very last minute.

She blamed my partner for not communicating clearly enough (I saw the messages, and I’m still confused as to how “I bought the hockey tickets; let me know transportation and hotels and book them and I’ll pay” is unclear), and blamed me for not understanding because her cat has diabetes. There were multiple offers to help out, and the cancellation was very last minute (I was under the impression everything was good to go).

Well, there’s a band playing here that we’ve gone to see multiple times together, and was the reason we bonded in the first place. How do I tell her, or do I tell her, that I’m going? It’s where I live, about an hour from where she is now. I really do love her and she’s been messaging me a lot lately and I don’t want to burn our relationship to the ground. But I think maybe it’s already burnt. Please help!

Re: do you want to be friends, or not?

  • Do you want to stay friends? 

    When I ran NYC my friend came with me, was supposed to watch me race, drove to the city with her sister (so was in town!) and then bailed the night before (largely due to her sister but she made choices here too). I was so upset. 

    After she tried texting like nothing happened- so I told her how I felt, that I was deeply hurt she did that and I wasn’t interested in hearing her complain about her sister since she played such a big part in what happened. She took full accountability for it and we moved forward. I wouldn’t have it she continued to blame her sister and not apologize. 

    So I guess that’s what LW should do. Tell her friend how she feels and see how friend reacts. 
  • I think she can tell the friend that she's hurt and say that she bought her OWN ticket but would love to see her at the concert.  
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards